Only Human
by Cyanide-Ocean
Summary: No one can save you except yourself, but it's never easy to be your own hero. Everyone has their limits and life is bittersweet at best.
1. Past Failures

It was just about Aubrey's moment to shine and leave a lasting impression on the world of a cappella. Although really only on the judges before her, but they might as well have represented such a thing as their steady gaze analyzed and picked apart every move she made as their ears took in each note she hit and placing it under harsh judgement. She could feel her stomach churning violently, but willed herself to remain calm. No pressure, she could do this. Everything was going perfectly, and now she needed to be perfect too and not disappoint Alice and not to disappoint her father despite how he wasn't even present in the audience, which subsequently would cause Aubrey to feel immense disappointment in herself. But who was she kidding? No one. She could knew if she opened her mouth again, everything she'd eaten that day would come flying up, but she had no choice; it was either keep quiet and look like an amateur on stage who'd forgotten the lyrics, or heave everything in her stomach onto the unsuspecting audience members, and regardless of what happened now, their fate in the competition was sealed with a massively humiliating loss. Perhaps she'd manage to keep everything down just long enough as she swallowed in hopes of relieving herself of the itchiness in the back of her throat. But as bitterly predicted, the second Aubrey parted her lips, all the contents of her stomach came rushing up as she hurled everything on the first few rows of the audience.

Everything went deathly quiet as her vision instantly blurred, her lips pressing into a thin line, and her face contorting into a mortified expression. The sheer feeling of shamefulness caused yet another round of vomit to stream from her mouth as the tears streaked her face. "I'm so sorry!" She cried, "I am so sorry!" she backed away a few paces, every person in the room with the most repulsed expression on their face as they stared back at Aubrey as if she were some grotesque creature. Everyone, that was, except for Chloe, who was first to snap herself out of her state of shock. She rushed to her friend's side, placing a hand gently on her back to see if there was any way she could possibly help her, but just as soon as she'd arrived to where the other woman stood, Aubrey turned and fled from the stage. This was just another failure to be added to her ever growing list of disappointments that could all be traced back to her as the one at fault.

The other Bellas followed suit as it was blatantly obvious they'd lost. "Alice, I'm so sorr-" Aubrey began to apologize again, but was silenced by the horrifyingly dangerous glare from the lead Bella.

"Get out of here!" Alice shrieked at the quivering blonde. "You've ruined everything! Do you even understand that? Everything! All you had to do was sing a few lines, but instead you decided to puke all over everyone and now I'm going to graduate from Barden with this loss hanging over my head. People will only remember me as the leader of a group where one of the members threw up over the entire audience! You're a disgrace!" The senior berated Aubrey.

"Alice, please," Chloe piped up, doing her best to defend her friend.

"Shut up! This isn't your discussion. God, you two are so incompetent, I can't believe I'm leaving this group to a couple of slutbags like you," Alice hissed.

Chloe instant shut her mouth, not wanting to be on the receiving end of Alice's wrath as she glanced to her friend who looked absolutely miserable. She was about to make a second attempt to comfort her friend when the blonde made a break for it. If at first you don't succeed, pack your bags - that's what Aubrey's father had told her. Running was her only option left, and she did just that as she bolted out of the doors to the auditorium. She knew Chloe would most likely wait for her back at their shared dorm, but right now Aubrey needed to be alone. She couldn't face Alice again, and fortunately she didn't necessarily have to anymore as the a cappella season was over, the Treblemakers - particularly their leader, Bumper Allen - jeering at them as they often did at their loss.

The frigid air nipped mercilessly at Aubrey's face as her tears stung her face. She crossed her arms, hugging them tightly to her body for some warmth as she let her feet take her somewhere - anywhere that wasn't where she was now. She roamed the dark streets aimlessly as she did her best in an attempt to calm her nerves, replaying the whole fiasco in her head and every time coming to the same conclusion that all the blame for losing this year fell on her. Alice was right; she was ignominious, a walking disaster waiting to happen as she racked up one disappointment after another. She had ruined absolutely everything and nothing could convince her otherwise, not that anyone would attempt to as they all knew Alice's words rang true at least to some extent.

As she walked, her mind drifted which was always a dangerous thing. On the outside, she was a poised, generally calm and kept together person, but inside her mind was pandemonium. Aubrey could hear her father's voice resonated in her head, reminding her of what a let down she was, how she needed to push herself more if she ever hoped to have a shot at doing something right for once in her misadventurous life, how she'd never make anything of herself if she didn't work harder. But for him, no amount of blood and sweat from his daughter would ever be enough. Tears were most definitely out of the question as allowing oneself to crack and allow themselves to cry was a sign of vulnerability, which in turn equated to weakness, and Posens were not weak. Except for Aubrey - she was the weakest of them all for doing everything that a real Posen wouldn't. She needed to learn to gain better control over her emotions and not let them get the best of her. No wonder her father regarded her with such disdain and always highlighted her flaws as they need some serious fixing and soon if she ever hoped to regain her dignity and acceptance with her father. Although maybe he never accepted her in the first place nor would he ever. If there was such a thing as fate, then perhaps she was destined to never be good enough, not just for her own father, but for herself - for anyone.

Aubrey gave a disheartened sigh as she realized she'd best start to head back to their hotel room as Chloe was bound to be worried sick over her whereabouts in a city where neither of them had been before. New York City was exactly as it was described: the city that never sleeps. Aubrey refocused her attention from becoming too lost in the hellish depths of her mind to her surroundings. She passed by clubs and bars where the music resounded inside, the vehement beats reverberating off the walls and occasionally leaked into the the bustling night life outside whenever the door opened. A few windows to people's offices were lit up despite it being in the first few hours of the morning. Perhaps they were cramming to meet their quota before clocking out or took on extra hours for more pay; they were people who had to work hard for what they got, unlike herself. Though Aubrey did put in a lot of effort studying and working on homework in order to get pristine grades, financially she was well off and in a much better position than many others as she had plenty of money to fall back on whereas many others weren't as fortunate.

She had no reason to be beating herself up and casting her life in a harsh light to make herself out to be a victim, although that had never been her intent. She should be more grateful and rejoice in the fact that she had a very favourable life - one that many others would kill for. And yet Aubrey could barely bring herself to smile half the time, often plastering on a false one just to avoid the probing questions of what was wrong. She wouldn't know how to answer such questions let alone where to begin nor how to translate her thoughts into words. It was easier to keep everything locked up inside, just as a real Posen would. Maybe her whole life was a sham and she was born into the wrong family. She could never hope to be what her father wanted her to be; strong, completely independent, perfect. Aubrey was imperfect and she viewed this as her biggest flaw as well as the one thing that hindered her from obtaining her father's approval. She needed to be perfect. Yet achieving perfection was impossible. No, not impossible, that wasn't something Aubrey was willing to accept. She merely had to pour more effort and time into trying so that she could be such a thing. Only someone weak of mind would give up and had to prove she wasn't anymore weak than her father already surely perceived her as.

When she finally arrived back at her shared hotel room with Chloe, her friend immediately jolted upright upon hearing the beep and clicking sounds of the door unlocking as Aubrey pushed it open. The blonde's appearance was disheveled and she appeared exhausted as she crossed the room and perched herself on the edge of her bed before curling up on her side, not bothering to change out of her Bellas attire, with her back to the other woman.

"How're you feeling?" Chloe asked meekly from her side of the room.

"I'm... Fine," Aubrey sighed morosely.

Chloe slid off her bed and made her way over to her friend's climbing onto the vacant side as she gingerly wrapped an arm around Aubrey's waist. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," the blonde sniffed, a new wave of tears threatening to breach and streak her face.

"Will you at least look at me?" Concern lacing the redhead's voice.

"Why?"

"Because I just want to see you."

Aubrey rolled over to face her friend begrudgingly though refused to make eye contact with her.

"None of this was your fault," Chloe whispered, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind the other woman's ear.

"I appreciate the sympathy, but it was, Chloe," Aubrey stated coolly, just barely managing to squeeze out her sentence without her voice cracking although a few tears managed to roll down her cheeks.

"Aubr-"

"It is, but it's fine. I've accepted that fact already."

An empathetic sigh passed from the redhead's lips as she gave up trying to argue her friend on the matter. Once Aubrey had made up her mind, there was no way to sway her opinion. "Well then let's just try to get some sleep before we head back to Atlanta tomorrow," she muttered, pulling her friend closer, Aubrey easily folding in against Chloe who held her close as they both drifted off into sleep.

The year ended with Alice reluctantly handing the Pitch Pipe over to Aubrey although not without muttering a comment about how the group would never succeed with an embarrassment like her in charge. Chloe being the ever loyal and supportive friend did her best to deflect Alice's commentary, but Aubrey placed a hand on her friend's arm to silence her, deeming the former leader not worth the effort and instead decided to let the comment slide instead despite how it did sting. It was true - she was an embarrassment after all. She knew if there'd been someone else to choose to ascend leader, Alice would've picked them over her in a heartbeat. While the now-graduating senior had no intention of returning to Barden to check in as she didn't see any reason to go out of her way to see how fast the group was falling apart under Aubrey's leadership, the blonde vowed to herself to get The Bellas back to Lincoln Center and this come out victorious.


	2. The New Girl

Nothing ever goes as planned, however, and so when the fall semester came around and Aubrey stood there at The Bellas' table for the activities fair with Chloe by her side to pass out flyers, the amount of interest to join had significantly declined. This was a terrible start to their year as even Bologna Barb declined their invitation to join. She'd have to become less picky if she hoped to fill the empty slots for their a cappella group, and as if on cue, an alternative looking girl with oversized headphones draped around her neck and ear monstrosities stepped out of a taxi looking around like a lost puppy, but trying to play it cool. Chloe, too, spotted the freshman as she pointed her out.

"What about her?"

"She's a little too... Alternative for us," Aubrey pressed her lips into a thin line of disapproval. She needed like-minded women with bikini ready bodies. While the younger woman may have fit the latter requirement, she certainly wouldn't have the same disciplined mindset as herself as far as she could tell, which honestly wasn't that much as Aubrey hadn't even exchanged one word with the approaching brunette as she sauntered over to one of the nearby tables. Just as she was about to move on to a different table, Chloe seized the opportunity to grab her attention and offer her to audition.

"I don't really sing," the freshman shrugged. Aubrey was ready to dismiss the younger woman and move on to the next who better suited the role of a Bella when her friend decided to persist with the shorter brunette. When they were asked what a cappella was, she silently wished for Chloe to give up and seek out someone else, but her friend wouldn't be deterred.

It appeared as if her friend had a toner for this freshman whom they didn't even know. The way she was looking at the petite brunette, the way she smiled at her and wouldn't let the younger woman's resistance put her off all pointed to Chloe was becoming, at least physically, attracted to this freshman.

"Sorry, I just think it's kind of lame," the freshman shot them a fraudulent smile.

"You bitch!" Aubrey spat out the words, staring at the brunette incredulously, earning herself a look of surprise from the brunette.

"What she means is..." Chloe's voice faded into the background as Aubrey's stare bore holes into this impudent shorter woman. How dare she insult her, even if indirectly by jeering at what she was passionate about, while barely even knowing her. At least she had the decency not to berate the young woman right off the bat to her face.

Finally, after what was much too long as far as Aubrey was concerned, the freshman walked off.

"I think she was pretty good," Chloe smiled.

"She doesn't even sing," the blonde reminded her friend tersely.

"I know she does - she's definitely lying," she gave an affirmative nod. "I'll get her to audition."

"You really don't have to, Chloe," which was really meant to be taken as a please don't, but the redhead would have none of it. Like herself, Chloe could be stubborn as well although in a much more gentler manner.

As the day of auditions came around, the turn out wasn't too bad compared to how Aubrey had initially feared it would be. There were a few decent singers, several that would not make the cut, and a select few that she may be willing to consider. Out of the handful that tried out, the alternatively dressed freshman hadn't shown up to her silent delight. Although she hadn't entirely been expecting Beca to show up either as she had claimed that she didn't sing. Had Chloe discovered that she could, in fact, sing and she'd lied to them about it at the activities fair for whatever reason, the freshman could've easily held out in protest to the redhead's urging to try out. But just as the auditions were being announced as over, the door opened and who should it be but the brunette. She wondered to herself what had made Beca change her mind, but it was a question to which the answer was of little importance now as it didn't change that the younger woman was here to audition for a spot on The Bellas. A feeling of dread began to form in the pit of Aubrey's stomach. This freshman was bad news - she could feel it in her gut, and although the lead Bella preferred to not listen to her intestines, there was no ignoring the apprehension festering inside of her.

Beca walked hesitantly onto the stage at Chloe's urging, unsure of whether or not she should turn and go. Her feet, however, decided for her as she continued to walk onto the stage.

"I didn't know I had to have a specific song prepared," she rolled her lips into a thin line as she stood in front of Aubrey and Chloe.

"That's okay! Just sing whatever you want then," the redhead beamed.

"I'm going to need this," Beca muttered, getting down on all fours as she reached for the yellow cup that held some pens and pencils and emptied the contents along the edge of the

on the table in front of the two seniors.

Chloe was sitting on the edge of her seat, eagerly awaiting for the freshman to perform whatever it was she had in mind. Aubrey, on the other hand, was absolutely displeased by the whole situation, her mouth agape in exasperation as Beca sat cross-legged before them and began clapping out a rhythm, using the cup as well as it tapped on the stage. She pursed her lips as the smaller woman began to sing, glaring disapprovingly at her, refusing to admit - or at least not openly at all - that Beca did have a satisfactory voice, one that could benefit The Bellas. The only downside to this was the brunette did not look the part at all and that would have to change, at least for performances if she made it into the group. Of course, with Chloe acting like an excited little kid, practically drooling over the freshman, Aubrey had the irksome assumption that she'd be seeing a lot more of Beca than she wanted.

Some could have accused Aubrey of being too prejudgmental of Beca, but the senior knew she'd soon have good reason for the strong disdain she harboured towards the young woman. The younger woman was different from everyone else, and she had to have known that as well. The way she carried herself, the way she spoke and dressed, everything about her, screamed that she was the kind of person who did things her own way and went against the flow - she was a rebel. Aubrey wouldn't have cared so much, but she had the sneaking suspicion that Beca's would not take kindly to receiving and following orders and this would cause rehearsals to be more arduous than they had to be.

The day came when the newest additions to The Bellas would learn which roles they'd been assigned in the group; sacks were placed over their heads, until the big reveal when they were pulled off one by one as names were called out. This was followed by drinking the blood of their sisters before them. No one seemed to really question this as they'd had the common sense to know it wasn't actual blood in the goblet, yet Beca still found a way to voice her protest with a "Dude, no!" Aubrey was ready to curtly explain that she wasn't that vulgar not to mention go that far out of her way to gather the actual blood of the previous Bellas let alone how terrible an idea that was in the first place. Yet Chloe didn't miss a beat and got in her reply first.

"Don't worry, it's Boone's Farm," she winked at the younger woman.

"You are all Bellas now," Aubrey smiled at the group. They weren't anywhere close to being how she'd expected the new Bellas to look as, not like carbon copies of each other as they had the previous years.

"I think we did well," Chloe beamed while the new Bellas introduced themselves to each other and struck up conversations.

"I hope you're right," Aubrey kept her steady gaze trained on the women before her, but more accurately, on Beca Mitchell. "Do you really think she'll fit in?"

Chloe looked to her friend and observed how her stare was fixed on the freshman who seemed sorely - yet adorably according to her - out of place. "You're worrying too much; she'll be fine," she laughed airily. "Is she starting to grow on you already?"

"Not at all," the lead Bella scoffed. "I just don't want her ruining everything."

"Aubrey..." Chloe chuckled softly, "This is a new year and we have new Bellas. I'm sure everything will be okay," a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she did her best to reassure her friend.

"We'll see," she sighed.

Hood night, or what some called initiation night, was where all the a cappella groups at Barden got together as a sort of meet and greet. It was where everyone became familiar with the other faces and mingle. Chloe was hanging off to the side with her boyfriend or maybe he was her friend with benefits, Aubrey didn't know nor did she feel the need to go out of her way to find out. Chloe was an adult and could choose who she wanted to be with and what kind of a label they wanted on her own. The lead Bella grabbed a red plastic cup, filled it with the cold beer that was being offered, and went to join a small crowd of people who were laughing, chatting, and dancing to the music. Just because she was managing to let loose just a little, that didn't mean Aubrey wasn't going to keep an eye out on the other Bellas.

As she glanced around, she noticed Beca also standing off to the side, but there was a Treblemaker with her. She kept a close eye on them from the distance, watching how Jesse shamelessly tried to flirt with her. While Beca didn't appear to hold much interest, she certainly wasn't trying to be rid of his company. A few minutes later Jesse was drunkenly climbing over the seats to go fetch Beca a beer. Just as the Treblemaker was leaving, who should next arrive to be in the brunette's company but Chloe. The way her friend grabbed Beca's wrists and pulled her closer, how Beca didn't pull away and instead humoured Chloe in her flirtatious ways rubbed Aubrey the wrong way, but she knew she was in no position to speak.

"Hey, captain," Amy's voice cut through her thoughts as she turned to face the other Bella.

"Amy," she greeted the woman fixing a smile on her face.

"One out of ten women are lesbians," the best singer in Tasmania with teeth, as she proclaimed herself to be, stated. "My money's on black beauty," she pointed to Cynthia Rose who was preoccupied with staring at Stacie's chest as she poured herself a beer until bringing her gaze back up to the mezzo soprano's eyes.

She nodded to Amy's remark as they continued to talk the night away until the party began to come to a close as people started to leave.

"So I saw you had some fun tonight," Chloe chirped when they'd arrived back at their shared dorm.

"Yeah, I suppose so," she replied coolly, changing into more comfortable clothes.

"What do you mean you suppose so? I saw you speaking with Amy. You seemed to be having a pretty good time," her friend laughed lightly. "You should loosen up more, though, I think it'd be good for you."

Chloe's comment wasn't meant as an insult, but it still vexed her as it did imply that she was too uptight. What would her friend know, though? She was under a great amount of pressure for this year to go well; she needed to maintain her impeccable grades, GPA, needed to get The Bellas to take first place at the ICCA this year, as well as get accepted into a good law school to appease her father. While the other woman knew her father was overbearing, she could only imagine what kind of a toll this was taking on Aubrey. Whenever she spoke with her father on the phone, all she received was an earful of how much she had left to improve about herself. They never spoke about the previous year's debacle at Lincoln Center, however, as that was too shameful to speak of for either of them and he'd already voiced his censure of the a cappella group as he didn't see how such a thing could possibly assist her in getting anywhere in life.

The Bellas had been something Aubrey had joined with Chloe when they became freshman as something fun to do. The fun aspect of the a cappella group was fleeting as Alice zapped it right out with her strict, no-nonsense leadership that was much more of a dictatorship as far as Aubrey and Chloe were concerned. The former Bellas leader made no effort to hide her acrimony with the women as she mercilessly castigated them for the smallest of things such as not smiling enough to her liking when running through the choreography. Yet Aubrey and Chloe continued to persevere and stick with the group as it was their escape from the pressures of school work, although such a thing always hung over Aubrey's head whether or not she let it on, her father's words of needing to be perfect deeply ingrained into her head.

"Perhaps. I'm going to call it a night," Aubrey gave a small yawn as she got into bed and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders.

"Night, Aubrey," Chloe smiled at her.

"Good night, Chloe," she murmured in response, rolling over onto her side, keeping her back to her friend as she stared melancholically at the wall. "Hey, Chloe?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of Beca?" The blonde sighed.

"Didn't you ask me this earlier?"

"I was asking you on your opinion of her as a singer previously, now I'm asking your opinion on her as a person," she answered with a slight shrug.

"I like her; she's just the right amount of sarcastic and witty," Chloe grinned, recounting their conversation at the party. "Why?"

"Just wondering. She's... Different."

"Give her a chance, Aubrey. You never know, maybe you'll come to like her too, and I think different is good - we could use some different this year."

"Good night," A second sigh came from Aubrey as she brushed aside her friend's comment.

"Everything will be fine," Chloe guaranteed.


	3. Walking Disaster

Aubrey stood in front of the other Bellas, a stern expression on her face as she paced slowly from one spot to another. She knew who had decided to go against the oath and who hadn't the previous night at the initiation party. The oath of Bellas not having any sexual relations with The Treblemakers was serious.

"Tori, hand over scarf, take your chair, and go," she spoke gratingly.

"Aubrey, please! It was an accident!" Tori pleaded, remaining in her seat, hoping that the older woman would have mercy.

Aubrey, however, wasn't one to make exceptions easily - or at all - for rules she chose to set as she was passionate about her opinions and refused to have them be compromised. She motioned with her hand for Tori to get to her feet and towards the door for her to leave. Realizing it was futile to resist, Tori passed her scarf over to the lead Bella and took hold of the back of her chair as she dragged it towards the exit with her, the other Bellas cringing at the grating sound it made against the floor.

"That oath was serious?" Beca raised her brow in surprise, a dubious smile on her face.

"Dixie Chicks serious!" She stated as if the question were preposterous, which to her it was.

"You're going to lose members really quickly if this is how you run things," the freshman scoffed.

If she knew she could get away with it, Aubrey would've slapped the younger woman across the face for her audacity. Her suspicions about Beca being nothing but trouble were becoming more and more true the longer she spent with her. This was definitely not going to be an easy year at all if Beca kept up this attitude with her. However, she had to force herself to remain calm - or at least as calm as she could muster - to keep herself both from blowing chunks from the stress and from completely losing her temper.

Although if that wasn't enough, Stacie's comment didn't help matters any. "That's going to be hard - he's a hunter," she remarked nonchalantly, gesturing between her legs.

"The Trebles don't respect us, and if we let them penetrate us, we are giving them our power," Aubrey huffed.

"Not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate,'" Amy interjected.

They weren't even that far into the season - at the very beginning in fact - and everyone was already making her job more strenuous and wearisome than it had to be. The next thing she knew after mentioning she didn't want a repeat of last year, Lilly pulled out her iPad and searched for it, finding a video of her unfortunate incident on YouTube. All the Bellas crowded around the device until the clip had ended and they'd watched with the same disgust and surprise that the audience who'd been there had on their faces. She could've demanded they stop the video, but she knew they would just look for it later anyway, so her protest would've been in vain.

"Oh! Click 'Guy pukes on cat,'" Stacie pointed to the screen.

"Enough! It happened. It's over now," the lead Bella clapped her hands once to regain everyone's attention, wanting to move on. While she knew she'd never forget that catastrophe, she didn't need it to be the center of discussion while she was present at the very least.

"Beca can I speak with you?" She singled out the freshman as the group was filing out after an irritating rehearsal for them all. "I saw you last night with that Treblemaker."

"Jesse? Yeah, what about it?" Beca already had an idea of where the conversation was going, but wanted to hear it from the lead Bella herself. The whole no mixing of Bellas and Trebles oath was moronic in her opinion and didn't understand as to why Aubrey felt the need to control who people decided to date so long as they showed up to practices and did their best.

"Be careful, Beca, The Bellas oath is serious."

"Or else what? You're going to kick me out too? I think you need me more than I need you," she derided. "You're not the boss of me."

"I don't like your attitude," Aubrey glared at her.

"You don't even know me."

"I know you have a toner. For Jesse," she chided.

"What?" Beca snorted, absurdly grinning at the older woman.

"A toner? A musical boner," the older woman explained curtly.

The freshman raised her brow, giving a dry laugh. "Yeah, that's not a real thing. You're not the boss of me," she rolled her lips into a thin line and turned to go.

"I can see your toner through your jeans!" Aubrey called after her angrily.

"That's my dick!" Beca shot back with a sardonic smile, walking out of the room before the older woman could get in a reply.

It was no secret that she and the freshman weren't exactly each other's biggest fans as they were constantly clashing and at each other's throats. Beca challenged Aubrey's decision to maintain the traditional setlist, which was something everyone else quickly learned not to do. That, however, didn't stop the freshman who continued to push the matter despite it being clear that questioning the senior's opinions only lead to an argument. The other Bellas were forced to endure her disputes with Beca as they continued to push their opinions on one another which in turn caused rehearsals to be significantly more tense.

If they'd known Alice, the other members would've instantly compared Aubrey to her as both were strict, overbearing, perfectionists, controlling and it was their way or no way at all. It hadn't been Aubrey's intention to become like the former Bella, but her need to strive to win and the pressure she felt from her father to graduate with impeccable grades and get into Yale Law was overwhelming. The stress translated into the way she spoke with others; her words more harsh and she was quick to snap. Her already naturally poised demeanor became more frigid as she did her best to remain as calm and kept together as she could to prevent herself from stress vomiting too much.

Outside of rehearsals when she and Beca weren't bickering, Aubrey found herself only managing to have tension filled conversations with Chloe. She and the other woman had met their freshman year and had somehow clicked despite the difference in their personalities; Chloe was vivacious, optimistic, and open with others, while she was aloof, critical, and reserved. They'd had their share of disagreements in the past as friends do at times, but this year was different. She knew she was pushing their friendship to its possible limits a little more with each passing day due to her discordant behaviour with the other woman, but she couldn't help it. Aubrey needed everything in her final year at Barden to go perfectly because if it did then maybe she'd finally be able to gain her father's approval - maybe she'd finally be able to hear the three words she'd longed for him to speak: "I'm proud of you." Not even "I love you," but simply, "I'm proud of you," although that coming from him may as be the equivalent.

But with Beca now in the picture, it wasn't going to be easy. The younger woman certainly had a way of infringing upon her plans when it came to The Bellas, but Aubrey was a Posen and Posens never gave up; they were resilient and never failed. She would not let some freshman whom she'd had the misfortune of meeting out of all people undermine all of her meticulous work that she'd poured a significant deal of her time and effort into doing to be sure that things were going as she needed them to be. She would engage Beca in their verbal sparring at each rehearsal if that's what it'd take to go forward with her original plans of following the traditional route. Besides, what did she know? Next to nothing. The younger woman had never competed in an a cappella competition, she'd never even heard of a cappella before she showed up at their table during the activities fair and Chloe had to explain it to her, so there was no possible chance that Beca knew anything about what was best for The Bellas.

Just as Aubrey had predicted, she often found herself locked into feuds with Beca over the setlist, but had made it worse was that Chloe seemed to be defending the freshman. That wasn't supposed to happen; Chloe was her friend - she was meant to support her, not Beca. She didn't, of course, have any qualms with Chloe making other friends, but Beca Mitchell was not included in the "other friends" category. It killed Aubrey to watch the other woman shamelessly flirt with the brunette, and Beca flirted back which only made knowing about their exchange of witty banter all the more agonizing. The freshman hadn't even wanted to be apart of The Bellas, thought a cappella was lame, and god forbid they did it competitively. Chloe was her go-to person when she became too overwhelmed and needed to vent, but this time she couldn't because her frustration and anger stemmed from the object of her friend's affection and the redhead would only defend Beca and try to make her see that the freshman wasn't as terrible as she'd made her out to be in her head. Beca, with her alternative style of dressing, her dark make-up and mad lib beats, had waltzed into Aubrey's life, turning it upside down - and not in the good way. If she had to lose to the freshman, she'd give up The Bellas, but she'd be damned if she lost Chloe to the younger woman. And yet that was exactly what it felt like; Beca Mitchell was taking Chloe, her best friend, away from her and there was nothing she could do about it but watch from the sidelines. The lead Bella knew she had no right to intervene in their friendship and try to pull them apart, but Aubrey was afraid that if she lost the other woman to Beca, she'd be losing her for good, their best friendship aside. That was another reason for her animosity, she wouldn't give up Chloe - even if her friend swore up and down to her that no matter what happened between herself and Beca, she'd always have her as her best friend - without a fight, though no one knew that detail as she kept it secreted away in her own mind.

But there was still one other reason for her hostility towards the freshman, but it was one that remained a mystery even to herself. Whatever this unknown reason was, it especially irritating as it caused Beca to constantly plague her thoughts no matter what she was thinking, whether it be concerning her studies, personal life, or future career plans - the younger woman wasn't restricted from entering her head when she only thought of The Bellas or even Chloe. This was what she deemed most vexing about the freshman despite how the blame for this couldn't even be placed at the brunette's feet. The conundrum of a reason was one that Aubrey was determined to figure out - and soon - as she was fed up with the younger woman already attenuating her position of power in The Bellas, and she would rue the day that she allowed to let Beca be the bane of her existence. She decided that it'd be after the next rehearsal that she'd confront the freshman in hopes of discovering what it was about the freshman that caused her to be such a thorn in her side, apart from the obvious of their contentions. If she were to finally able free herself from whatever it was that caused bitter thoughts of the onerous brunette to add to the maelstrom in her head.


	4. Labels

As the day's rehearsal came to an end, Aubrey could feel her stress nearly skyrocketing. Beca had yet again decided to voice her contempt with the setlist, despite how she knew the lead Bella wasn't going to budge.

"Beca, can I talk to you?" She singled out the freshman, who turned around begrudgingly.

"I know you don't like my attitude," the younger woman rolled her lips into a mocking smile.

"That's not what I was going to speak with you about," Aubrey gave an exasperated sigh.

"Then what is it? My alternative appearance, my taste in music?" Beca replied snidely. "Or my ear monstrosi-" She continued, but was cut off by the feeling of the other woman's lips pressed against hers. "What the hell, Aubrey?!" She hissed, shoving the woman away, staring at her incredulously.

"Shut up, Beca," she growled, pushing the freshman against the piano, the younger woman's body meeting the instrument with a dull thud. "I'm tired of listening you ridicule me all the time," she added angrily, their lips colliding once more as she pressed her body against Beca's.

This time the smaller brunette didn't resist; rather, her hands reached up and entangled into the silky, blonde curls as she pulled Aubrey closer to her. They used their bodies to express what their mouths were unable to speak; their tongues locked into a power struggle, the older woman's hands explored Beca's body, but took care to avoid her breasts as she denied the freshman that satisfaction just yet. She slipped her fingers under the hem of Beca's shirt, skimming over the pale flesh lightly, earning herself a slight gasp from the younger woman, until she reached Beca's arms where she raised them with her hands as she broke the ardent chain of kisses in order to remove the shirt in a fluid motion, and discarded it onto the floor at their feet. She tilted her head, beginning to trail kisses along the freshman's jaw and down the slender column of her neck, biting the skin and eliciting a whimper each time as she soothed the area over with her tongue and placed another kiss over it.

Aubrey's fingers glided over Beca's collarbones then moving ran her hands down the younger woman's sides, caressing the sides of her breasts, but otherwise continuing to refuse touching them.

"Aubrey," Beca whined, craving the older woman's touch.

"I'm the one in control here, Beca, but the more you speak then the less likely I am to oblige. Maybe I should just stop here if you think it'll get to be too much for you," Aubrey commented aloofly, pulling away completely.

"Aubrey," the younger woman shot the lead Bella a glare.

"What? I didn't hear you ask me to continue," she shrugged, raising her brow and rolled her lips into a thin line.

Beca was disinclined to comply, not wanting to be having to ask - not wanting to give Aubrey that kind of power over her, but she also needed the other woman to continue and unfortunately the aching she felt at the absence of Aubrey's hands on her body won out. "Don't stop," she spoke between gritted teeth.

"That's all you had to say," her lips curled into an impish smile, pressing herself against the smaller woman once more.

Aubrey ran her hands down the front of Beca's body this time and cupped her breasts, kneading them firmly. A throaty moan tumbled from the freshman's lips as her own hands slid from around the older Bella's waist to her lower back, pulling her closer, her lips capturing Aubrey's in an ardent kiss - the one thing she seemed to allow. Although feeling the older woman's teeth bite down on her lower lip though not quite hard enough to draw blood, Beca realized she should've known even the kiss wasn't going to come without a price, yet it was one she didn't mind paying.

Aubrey slid one hand down from the freshman's breast to her pants where she fumbled for a few seconds before undoing them and slipped her hand into Beca's underwear where she teased the slick folds. The younger woman rolled her hips against the senior's hand for more friction, much to the lead Bella's pleasure, witnessing what kind of an effect she had on Beca.

"If you want more, you're going to have to beg me for it," she murmured into the freshman's ear, gliding her tongue along the curve of the outer shell until she reached the lobe where she bit down on it gently, giving it a tug as she pulled away.

Beca groaned in response both to Aubrey biting her ear and from the prospect of having to once again plead for something from the older woman.

"Please, Aubrey," Beca whimpered.

"Please what?"

"Keep going."

"Why?" Aubrey hummed, thoroughly enjoying watching the freshman squirm as she did her best to hold onto some ounce of pride.

"Because I..." She drawled, letting her voice trail off as she leaned in, her lips brushing against the older woman's ear. "I need you," she whispered alluringly, causing a triumphant smile to stretch across Aubrey's face as she pressed the palm of her hand against the freshman's entrance, who let out a strained moan in response.

She began to slid two fingers inside Beca, but paused to build the anticipation, much to the younger woman's displeasure, before thrusting them in without warning and began to pump them in and out at a leisurely pace. A sharp gasp followed by a low moan that was laced with Aubrey's name cascaded off the freshman's tongue as she rocked her hips in sync to the lead Bella's hand. Her hands slipped under the hem of the older woman's shirt as they skimmed up Aubrey's back, snaking around to the front where she massaged the older woman's breasts. The older woman pressed her lips against Beca's neck, kissing it repeatedly to muffle her own moan as she picked up the pace of her fingers, twisting and curling them inside the the freshman as her other hand moved up from the younger woman's breast and became entangled into the wavy chestnut hair where she grabbed and tugged at it. Beca's breathing became erratic and fluctuated as she continued to move her hips in sync with Aubrey's hand, as she felt herself nearing her climax. Within a few more minutes of the older woman's fingers sliding in and out of her, and Aubrey's thumb rubbing slow circles on her clit, Beca could feel her orgasm surge through her body as an audible moan of Aubrey's name erupted from the back of her throat.

Aubrey retracted her hand, a smug smile on her face as she licked her fingers clean.

"So what exactly was that, Aubrey?" She arched an eyebrow at her.

"Fun," the older Bella shrugged.

"Fun?" Beca echoed, "The infamous Aubrey Posen who is as cold as ice is able to have fun?" the freshman smirked, bending over to pick up her shirt and yanked it on.

"I can have fun sometimes," she pouted, crossing her arms against her chest. "Is it such a problem that it happened to be with you?" Aubrey gave an volatile laugh, deciding to play along with the witty banter for now, uncertain as to whether or not her feelings were reciprocated by Beca, and decided to broach the subject later as what those feelings were exactly that she had for the freshman she had yet to completely figure out as well and wanted to be sure of how to label them before bringing it up with the younger woman.

"No, not really a problem at all - just surprised that you picked me," the younger woman smirked.

"You and me both," Aubrey mused softly to herself under her breath as she straightened out her shirt.

"What?"

"I'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow," she tossed the freshman a smile over her shoulder that bordered being sweetly innocent in appearance as she sauntered out.

Though it didn't turn into a regular thing, Beca and Aubrey fairly frequently hooked up after rehearsals in the practice room, when Beca was alone at work on a night shift, when Chloe was out of her and Aubrey's shared dorm room. Every time, though, the lead Bella questioned what this meant as far as what it made her and the freshman. Outside of having sex, they didn't speak much unless they were in yet another of their heated arguments over the setlist. Since the first time she kissed Beca, Aubrey found herself with lingering feelings that she was unable to name, but it frustrated her to no end. She was supposed to have figured it out by now, yet the more she had her rendezvous with the younger woman, the stronger her feelings became.

Unable to remain quiet about it anymore she decided to bring it up one night as Beca slid out of her bed and began getting dressed. "You don't have to go, you know," Aubrey remarked casually, not wanting her words to be misconstrued as needy.

"What do you mean? I always leave after," the freshman quirked her eyebrow at her.

"I mean it's late and if you wanted you could stay since Chloe won't be coming back until tomorrow as she's out with some friends," she shrugged.

"My dorm is in a building across from yours. I think I can get back there just fine, but thanks," Beca gave her a quizzical look.

"What are we, Beca?" Aubrey finally inquired, giving way to an exasperated sigh.

"What do you mean?" The freshman knew exactly what the other woman was asking, but chose to make an attempt to evade the question regardless. That was how she handled conversations she didn't particularly want to be in - she skirted around the focus of the discussion and feigned ignorance or tried to flee the situation until running was no longer an option.

"Are we friends with benefits?" The older Bella asked, doing her best to keep an indifferent expression on her face, but was unable to prevent the faint diffident smile that ghosted her lips.

"Aubrey, we're not friends," Beca declared in a discordant tone with a snort. "We don't even get along, so how we manage to not kill each other while having sex still amazes me, but we're not friends," she repeated herself with a lopsided smile that was laced with the undertone of mockery.

"Of course," Aubrey pressed her lips into a thin line, forcing herself to maintain her impartial demeanor.

"We just hook up, but that's it - it doesn't mean anything," Beca added, unknowingly rubbing salt in the wound she'd created. "I'll see you later."

The two were at odds constantly thus there was no way they could possibly be anything more than acquaintances. But Aubrey couldn't help from feeling as if she'd had the wind knocked out of her by Beca's words, and only felt the anguish of the rejection to her offer of even being nothing more than friends with benefits intensify. The freshman had practically taken her suggestion and threw it back in her face with a laugh. The condescending look she'd received from Beca had been branded into her mind and it hurt more than she could've ever imagined, the pain of being shot down with such ease on Beca's part was excruciating. She was a fool in allowing herself to believe in even the possibility that the younger woman would ever see her as more than a good fuck. Not only that but no one ever wanted to do the friends part with her anyway - people avoided her as if she were some vile disease they feared was contagious.

Aubrey knew the labels of controlling, perfectionist, insensitive bitch, and vomiting freak amongst many others had all been remorselessly slapped onto her, and to some extent she fit them all. She'd been used to being pointed at and have others whisper hateful words behind her back when they thought she couldn't hear them or wasn't listening. She would never show it to anyone, but it did get to her. She couldn't help being all those things and needing to have everything meet her high standards. But what everyone else had failed to realize, was her rigid disposition was her armor to protect how sensitive she truly was. But no one ever wanted to even begin to try to get to know the uptight bitch as that was too much work. Why bother when they believed what they saw of Aubrey was all there was to her?

Silently admonishing herself for being such an idiot for thinking Beca would want to even consider the idea of being friends, Aubrey got out of bed and threw on a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Hoping for anything was dangerous and something she'd relearned tonight. She would never be the person anyone would want as a friend. How Chloe even tolerated her was unbelievable, but she would be eternally grateful for it all her life. Though that was a friendship - her only friendship - that her behavior was pushing to its limits. While she gave off the appearance of maintaining a strong composure, inside Aubrey was screaming for reprieve yet didn't know how to acquire it and so she would continue to suffer in silence, suffocated by her dismal thoughts and pained by irrational feelings of despair and affliction of these feelings for Beca. She'd need to get rid of those and soon if she didn't want to push the younger woman further away, though why she even cared in the first place baffled her. With a lamentable sigh, Aubrey climbed back into her bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin, granting herself the extremely rare occasion to let the tears that stung the corners of her eyes stream down her face until sleep finally claimed her for the night.


	5. Replaceable

Seeing the younger woman at rehearsals pained Aubrey as her response to the question of if they were friends with benefits was seared into the lead Bella's mind. Yet with regionals fast approaching and the riff-off that night, she was forced to push aside any hurt feelings and focus on the former. While she wanted to win the riff-off, it wasn't as much of an importance to Aubrey as regionals since there wasn't much of a way to practice for the singing showdown and so she could only hope for the best as she continued to push the other Bellas to get the choreography down and hit the needed notes for their song perfectly.

They needed to be perfect for regionals if she wanted to be able to hope they could make it to nationals. This was her last chance to get The Bellas to victory before she graduated and she was dying to wipe that smug look off Bumper's face and see it replaced with one of disbelief as The Bellas were handed the trophy this year instead of The Treblemakers yet again. She'd spent too long listening to his incessant jeering every time The Bellas were mentioned around him or when she passed him when they passed each other after a performance.

Though of course if they wanted to get to regionals, or even the next day's rehearsal, they'd have to get through today's, which was not proving to be an easy task. All throughout it Aubrey found herself unable to keep herself from stealing glances at Beca. But more specifically, Beca glancing over to Chloe, and there was no way it was a coincidence that she continuously met the freshman's gaze. As if the stinging that she felt over the fact that Beca didn't see her as more than a way to have a good time killing a few hours, it pained her more to observe that the younger woman's interest lay with her best friend.

People always preferred Chloe. It was expected, however, as her friend was more zealous and got along with just about everyone - with her there wasn't ever a dull moment. But that didn't make the aching feeling Aubrey felt hurt any less when she watched from afar as others flocked to be at the redhead's side and kept their distance with herself. Eventually it got to the point where she would hang back at their dorm and tell Chloe to go out and have some fun without her. She would bury herself in her textbooks as she scribbled out notes and typed out papers, filling her exhausted brain with various facts for her classes until she either fell asleep studying or her head throbbed, screaming at her to take a break.

"Alright, I'm calling it. I'll see you tonight," she nodded at the group and turned to gather up her things. Just as she was sliding the last paper into her bag, Aubrey noticed a shadow cast over her. As she looked up briefly a frown crossed her face. "Can I help you, Beca?"

"Hey, I didn't even say anything during rehearsal today - no need for the cold shoulder," she quirked an eyebrow as she crossed her arms against her chest.

The older woman opened to mouth to protest and recount what had happened the other night after they had sex, but decided against it with a shake of her head. "No, you're right. I'm just busy," she muttered.

"I'm getting the feeling you're hiding something."

"It doesn't matter, Beca. What did you want?" Aubrey sighed, straightening up.

"It does because you're seemingly mad at me for something that you won't tell me what for," she replied, evading the second question for the time being.

"Why do you hook up with me if you have no intention of even trying to get to know me?"

"What, you've never heard of two people just screwing around for fun? You know, fuck buddies?" Beca rolled her eyes as if there was no possible way Aubrey hadn't heard of such a thing before.

"I've heard of it, Beca," the lead Bella snapped, "I just don't know why I ended up being... That for you." She refused to use the term, finding it vulgar coming from her.

"Did you really think I'd actually try to be your friend, Aubrey? You hate me, remember? And need I remind you that you were the one that started this when you pushed me against the piano after rehearsal that day?" The younger woman retaliated.

"Well I didn't think it'd turn into more than a one time thing."

"Look, I didn't realize you actually thought anything would come from it, but we don't have to keep doing it, you know," Beca gave an irritated sigh as she raked a hand through her hair.

"That's not what I'm saying! I didn't think anything more would happen I just..."

"Just what?"

"You know what? Never mind - forget I said anything. Have fun flirting with Chloe," Aubrey hissed bitterly as she turned on her heel and began to storm out.

"Is that what this is about?! You think I'm going after her?!" Beca shouted after the older woman causing her to whip around.

"Don't even pretend like you aren't at least attracted to her! I see the way you two look at each other!" The older Bella retorted, keeping her distance.

"That's bullshit - we just happen to get along, Aubrey! Unlike you and me since you're always breathing down my neck about one thing or another!"

"Oh, so this is all my fault now?!" She yelled, doing her best to keep her voice from cracking as she simultaneously willed herself to keep the tears from streaking her face. "I'm sorry for bringing this up, okay? I'm sorry I'm only good for you to fuck around with and I'm too hard for you to even make the slightest effort to see me as more than that!" Aubrey hastily pushed her way through the doors, leaving Beca in the rehearsal room behind her. The freshman was most likely going to ask her if they were going to hang out after the riff-off or something along those lines as that was really all the younger woman ever asked her if she wasn't confronting her about the setlist that she still refused to consider changing.

She was tired of being used for sex by Beca, especially when she had Chloe who would most likely happily comply and jump into bed with the freshman seeing how her friend was constantly engaging the brunette in the witty banter they often exchanged whenever she got the chance. Despite Beca calling bullshit on her previous statement about noting how the two women looked at each other in a way that implied more than purely friendly intentions, there was no way it wasn't true. The second rejection from the freshman hurt just as much as the first - perhaps even more as this time the younger woman made it abundantly clear that she had no interest in ever seeing her more than someone attractive enough to have sex with somewhat frequently. She was easy to Beca and asking to be anything more than that was too much as the freshman didn't want something that involved feelings as that would make things too complicated for her liking. Not only that but Aubrey had to remind herself that the younger woman hadn't joined The Bellas for her sake as it was blatantly obvious that she'd auditioned because Chloe had wanted her to - everything she did as part of The Bellas was for Chloe.

The second rejection only enforced Aubrey's opinion that she would never be good enough for anyone. She wasn't trying to wallow in self-pity nor was she looking for anyone to sympathize for her and say otherwise - this was merely a fact she'd come to believe about herself. She wasn't the kind of person anyone would willingly want to spend time with if given the option to do otherwise. She didn't know how to loosen up and have fun as everyone else seemed to do. This only caused her feeling of isolation from others to intensify - as if she were watching everyone else being able to lead more carefree lives, or at least ones they enjoyed more, laughing and smiling all the way or cry if they needed. But not her, no, to Aubrey showing any sign of vulnerability was weak and something her father had drilled into her head when she was younger.

It wasn't easy for her to smile let alone laugh as it was for others as she could only focus on the work that she had left to do that needed to be done. She didn't know how to take a break from it all - the essays, the note taking, the endless reading - to do anything else without fussing over how much work was waiting for her upon her return and how she could be spending time on that instead of doing something else that wouldn't help her as far as her studies went. Her inability to stop worrying over the details, how much effort it took just to get her to go out and have a good time without her scurrying back to her textbooks only a couple hours later, her need for perfection, and her thorny personality must've been what was driving others away from her, yet she didn't know how to fix any of those traits since they were all things she'd adopted as she grew up as she'd been taught that work was the most important thing, that it was a necessity to be the best at it, and should come above all else. What Aubrey hadn't known as a child when she learned that was the price it came at: a void of loneliness that she wasn't sure could be filled, the ever growing alienation from everyone else she felt, and the self-loathing when she believed she'd failed as far as she was concerned. She'd been taught to keep her standards high and to have an eye for detail. On one hand this could be a great combination as it meant that whatever she set out to do would be done with great care, but on the other hand this caused Aubrey many sleepless nights as she fussed over the little things and stress over absolutely everything.

But she didn't have time to analyze her flaws or keep her thoughts trained on Beca's harsh words to her as she had the riff-off to focus on now. The Bellas stood huddled together at one end of the abandoned pool, The Treblemakers at another, and the other a cappella groups scattered about as well as some onlookers who weren't participating but there to enjoy the friendly competition. The rules were explained before the event commenced and the projected wheel with the categories began spinning, landing on "Songs about sex." The groups took their turns cutting each other off until Beca ran up to The Treblemakers who were currently in the spotlight, namely Jesse who was showing off as he directed his singing towards her, and began rapping a song that Aubrey wasn't entirely familiar with. As the freshman rapped as she waited nervously for the other Bellas to back her up, who were all trying to figure out what song Beca was performing until a beat was finally given to her along with some vocals, causing her to pick up momentum as she reached the chorus and now with all the other groups - excluding The Treblemakers of course - to join in. However once they'd finished, The Bellas were declared to be disqualified as the younger woman had begun her song with the word "it's" and not "it" as that was the final word The Treblemakers had ended on before she had cut them off. It was a ridiculous loss, but a loss nonetheless which the others, though disappointed, didn't seem to mind too much as they all had fun nonetheless. Unsurprisingly, it was a loss that the lead Bella still was not pleased about, but one she could more easily forgive.

However the reassuring nod from Chloe to Beca as they exchanged a quick glance at each other didn't go unnoticed by Aubrey. Perhaps she was being a little too suspicious about her best friend and the freshman having some sort of thing going on as Beca simultaneously seemed to hold an interested in Jesse as well. She despised how difficult it was to read the younger woman at times, but perhaps that was also what had drawn Aubrey to her in the first place as she could read Chloe much more easily while the younger brunette posed as more of a mystery to her. Though her intrigue with Beca didn't matter anymore as whatever they'd had was over now and the freshman seemed to have no problem with moving on which had been another thing the older blonde took note of. It wasn't difficult to replace or forget her, another fact she'd concluded about herself.


	6. The Sting of Loss

In the time between the riff-off and regionals Aubrey couldn't help from noticing how Chloe seemed to gain more confidence in being more vocal about supporting Beca. She'd defended the freshman before and even had the audacity to suggest she take a listen to the mixes that the younger woman made the night she'd begrudgingly joined the other Bellas in waiting for Beca's return from her few hours spent in jail for the fight she'd gotten herself into with another a cappella group's member as well as the property damage she'd caused. She didn't have anything against Chloe making new friends, but getting close to Beca Mitchell wasn't something she was particularly keen on. She silently wished that Chloe would make a move and tell Beca she had feelings for her or for the freshman to let Jesse sweep her off her feet. Preferably the latter for the obvious reasons that it would at least get Chloe to stop flirting with her or at least tone it down several notches as the younger brunette would be dating someone else, and that perhaps she'd receive some kind of reprieve from their skinny love. Admittedly, some of her bitterness towards Beca was also due to the fact that the freshman left her so easily without even a half-hearted apology. Although that had been her fault as she hadn't given the younger woman the chance to say anything more before she hastily made her exit from the rehearsal room that day.

"Again!" Aubrey ordered of the group as they all let out a unified groan of frustration. "The regionals are tonight and we must be perfect if we're going to go win the competition!" She silenced them.

"Aubrey, we've been at this all morning. We're going to be fine, but not if you exhaust us before we even get there," Beca protested. She seemed to have taken on the role of speaking the words everyone else only thought but refused to verbalize so as to not incur the lead Bella's wrath anymore than they already did by not getting through each of their rehearsals sufficiently enough to meet her high standards that demanded nothing short of perfection. However for better or for worse Beca's rebellious and opinionated nature made her seemingly fearless of Aubrey's temper and therefore she had no issues with talking out against the equally stubborn older blonde. That was one thing everyone could agree that the two had in common: they were both incredibly adamant and set in their ways and both refused to back down even if it left them in a stalemate for days.

There was a brief moment of utter silence as Aubrey glared at the freshman, pursing her lips together in a pout before she slammed her water bottle down on the piano. She abhorred letting the smaller, vexing brunette have her way, but she was fed up and tired of dealing with Beca, who was the one person that never ceased to manage draining the woman of all her mental energy by the end of each and every Bellas rehearsal. "Fine! Fine, if that's what you all want then go! But you all better do perfectly tonight! Dixie Chicks serious!" She screamed at them as they all picked up their things and shuffled out of the room as she let out a huff and snatched up her belongings before looking up just in time to see Beca nearing the door. "Beca!" She yelled after the younger woman. She didn't have to see the aspiring DJ's face to know the freshman had rolled her eyes as she begrudgingly turned around. "If we don't make it to the finals, it falls on you," the blonde snapped.

"Fine, Aubrey, whatever," Beca rolled her lips into a thin line as she raised her brow and headed out.

"We'll be fine," Chloe mumbled as she fell into step beside her friend.

"Oh be quiet," Aubrey hissed at her as she sped off ahead, leaving the redhead behind her to sigh in exasperation. Of all the people that could've perhaps begun to understand her stress and need to win would've been Chloe, but now her best friend had left her for the snide freshman who still had yet to learn her place in the group. It felt as if everyone had been against her since day one which only added more stress to the lead Bella who was doing everything she possibly could not to crack under all the suffocating pressure.

Aubrey stood in front of the mirror in her and Chloe's dorm room as she tied her Bellas scarf carefully around her neck and gave her reflection a final quick once over before she hurried Chloe along and out the door. Their heels clicked across the pavement as they walked at a hasty pace to the parking lot where Amy was with the bus. All the other Bellas piled inside and found seats and each found a way to preoccupy themselves; Aubrey sitting upright with her back parallel to the back of the seat as she kept her focus fixed ahead of her, Beca with her arms folded against her chest as she slouched against the seat's back and stared out the window, Chloe listening to music and nodding her head along with the rhythm, Cynthia Rose on her iPad, Stacie filing her nails, Denise, Jessica, and Ashley all on their phones or gazing blankly out the window. After some time, Amy pulled the bus into a gas station to fill up the tank. She'd gotten the nozzle for the gasoline into her hand and was making her way to the end of the bus to refill it when suddenly she heard Bumper's name call out to the group and looked up just as a burrito that had been thrown out of the window of The Treble Makers' bus hit her square in the chest.

"I've been shot!" She cried as she let go of the gasoline nozzle in her hand and clutched her chest where she had an explosion of salsa, ground beef, and cheese on her as she sank down to the ground while Cynthia Rose and Lily rushed out of the bus to make sure she was alright.

"I know CPR!" Cynthia Rose exclaimed as she got down on her hands and knees and began to lean in to give Amy mouth-to-mouth.

"No, I'm fine, I'm fine!" Amy protested as she pushed the other woman off of her and got up as she got back onto the bus along with the other two.

The blanket of silence that had been present prior to their pit stop fell upon them all once again for a few minutes before Beca glanced to her side, shifting in her seat briefly before getting up to lean in behind Amy. "You, uh, have something behind your ear," she muttered, pointing to a clump of beef that was glued to the blonde with melted cheese.

"Leave it. It fuels my hate fire," the older Bella replied, her grip on the steering wheel tightening.

With a short laugh, the freshman sat back in her seat, resuming her staring out of the window.

Deciding she'd had enough of all the quiet, Chloe began to sing softly to Party In The USA that had begun playing in her earphones. Cynthia Rose looked up with a smile and chimed in, causing the redhead to smile in turn as she looked over her fellow Bella. Soon the entire bus erupted in song, all except Beca who had rolled her eyes at them all, but refused to even look at them as they all sang along until she heard a pause. Turning her head to face the group, the brunette saw all the Bellas leaning in, staring at her as they waited for her to join in. At first Beca scoffed at them, crossing her arms more tightly against her chest as she looked away. Her refusal to partake in the singing only lasted mere seconds before she gave in and decided to join in. They hadn't gotten much farther beyond the chorus when they heard a sputtering sound and the bus slowed to a halt.

"What's going on?" Aubrey inquired, the common frown that she wore on her face when they were practicing returned.

"We seem to be out of gas," Amy answered with a mutter.

"Didn't you just fill up the bus?"

"Well you see I was going to, but then I got hit by flying Mexican food," she explained hesitantly.

"Now what do we do?" The lead Bella demanded of the rest of them.

"We could call The-" Chloe began, but was cut off instantly.

"No. Don't even suggest that!" Aubrey interjected angrily, furious at the thought of turning to Bumper for help.

"I have Bumper's number," Amy spoke quietly.

"What? Why do you have his number?!" The taller blonde's attention snapped to the younger Bella.

"Uh… Well… Hmm…"

Aubrey resented having to turn to The Treble Makers' for any help at all no matter how small the favour as she knew it only fed Bumper's large ego and continued belief that they were superior to The Bellas. She'd had it with listening to his jeering and laughing at them which was why she was so dead set on beating them once and for all this year, aside from the obvious fact that it was also her last chance to do so as she would be graduating. If the Treble Makers managed to rack up yet another win, she knew she'd never hear the end of it and would have that loss hang over her head for the rest of her life and it'd weigh heavily upon her shoulders as it'd serve as a constant reminder of the one time in her life she wasn't perfect and have no way to go back and amend it. This time, however, the blonde knew she'd have to swallow her pride as much as she hated doing so and allow Amy to call Bumper for help.

"So what boring, estrogen-filled setlist do you ladies have planned for us tonight?" Bumper questioned, the condescending tone dripping from his voice as he spoke.

Aubrey clenched her jaw, willing herself not to indulge his rude remarks as her knuckles turned white when she gripped the back of the seat. She glanced down briefly to see Chloe's own gaze cut momentarily to Beca, who was intentionally avoiding the redhead's eyes as she swallowed.

"You're going to get pitch slapped so hard, your man boobs are going to concave," Amy retorted, only to get a squint of the eyes and a purse of the lips from Bumper in response.

Rage boiled beneath Aubrey's surface. She wished Chloe and Beca would stop skirting around the obvious: that they obviously have feelings of some sort for each other. She was sick and tired of watching them engage in their usual witty banter that often had a laugh thrown in here and a wink added there as lips curled into smiles. And if there was truly nothing going on between them, then for the pair to cease their blatant flirting. On occasion, Aubrey wondered if they did it in front of her purposefully - to make her jealous, perhaps, for whatever reason which she didn't know. Her thoughts drifted from her best friend and the freshman being a potential couple to just Beca and how the urge to corner the brunette at the next opportunity she got and make the younger woman spit out the reason of why she flirted so much with Chloe, threatening that if the shorter Bella didn't comply, she wouldn't let her go.

She had to push her thoughts out of her head for the time being as everyone got off the bus and went backstage and waited to be called up onto the stage. "On the count of three, ahh," Aubrey looked around at the other women as they were being announced to the audience to be next.

"On three or after?" Stacie questioned.

"Screw it, let's just do it," she retracted her hand from having it outstretched along with everyone else's and straightened her already wrinkle-free blazer as they all walked onto the stage. She could see the audience already silently groaning and pulling out their phones or letting their minds wander elsewhere before they'd even opened their mouths. It was same routine as it had been the year before when Alice was the lead Bella and the year before that - the only difference were the women performing it, Aubrey and Chloe aside. Everything was going as it'd be rehearsed, not to Aubrey's surprise at all, but when Beca decided to take matters into her own hands and deviated from the setlist by starting to sing Bulletproof to mix things up, Aubrey shot her a glare as their performance drew to a close.

"What were you thinking?!" She yelled at the smaller freshman.

"The audience was falling asleep, Aubrey, I just saved your show," Beca countered, clearly not thinking that what she'd done was wrong in any way.

"That took everyone by surprise! Ask them, did it take you guys by surprise?" She turned to the group.

"It took me a little bit by surprise," Amy mumbled to which Beca glared at her as she'd been making eye contact with the other woman throughout the performance.

"A _lot _by surprise," Aubrey turned to face the smaller woman, folding her arms against her chest.

"Eh… Just a little," Amy corrected the lead Bella though was ignored.

"You can't just do whatever you think is better because you feel like it, Beca. And just for the record, I _know _you're hooking up with Jesse," the older Bella stated coldly.

"Woah, woah, Beca and I aren't hooking up, Aubrey," Jesse raised his hands in defense as he walked up to them though kept a safe amount of distance between himself and the feuding women.

"Oh that's just great. What, are you following me around now to show up at the most convenient of times?" Beca spun around to face Jesse, irritated by his presence. "Just stay away from me!"

"No, I was just passing by, but okay. I got you loud and clear," he replied, backing up and walking out of the auditorium with the other Treble Makers.

"I knew you were never real Bella material," Aubrey spoke accusatorially at Beca.

"Don't-"

"No, it's okay," the brunette forced a smile as she looked over at Chloe who had tried to jump to the younger woman's defense, "It's not like you have to pretend as if you can have an opinion in this group, right?"

Chloe didn't know what to say as an expression of hurt flooded her face from the freshman's comment.

"You know, if this is what I get for trying…" Beca raised her brow, nodding her head in the older blonde's direction before turning on her heel and peeling away from the women as she took her leave and headed for the back exit door behind the stage.

"Aubrey-"

"Don't," the lead Bella growled at her as she marched off in the same direction Beca went as well.

The remaining Bellas all went their separate ways without another word, none making any effort to break the lingering tension. Aubrey was furious that they hadn't made the cut for the final round and it was all because of the know-it-all, aspiring DJ, who had no sense nor respect for authority, freshman, Beca Mitchell, who had successfully been the biggest pain in her side that she'd ever had the displeasure of knowing. The Bellas could've possibly won the ICCA that year - finally - just as she'd dreamed, but no, now any chances of that happening had been shot down now.


	7. Deafening Silence

"Beca! Beca!" Benji called out after the freshman who either was too lost in her own roaring thoughts to hear him or was ignoring him as she made a sharp turn and pushed her way through the door that lead outside. He had noticed on the bag that belonged to the leader of The Footnotes, that it had mentioned the name of a high school and that while the a cappella competition was for college a cappella groups, he was still in high school and therefore shouldn't have been allowed to compete. The withheld information that Benji intended to inform the ICCA of would get The Footnotes disqualified and put The Bellas back in the competition, giving them a shot at the trophy.

"Leave her," Aubrey said to him as she passed by, "I'll take care of her."

Benji stopped in his tracks as he didn't believe the woman could've known what he was going to try and inform the freshman of, but decided to let it go and give the ICCA a call instead of trying to catch up to the women and tell them himself.

"What, are you also following me too now? Did you want to yell at me some more?" Beca snarled as she tried to increase her speed to get away from the pursuing blonde who was right on her heels. "Hey!" She shouted as she felt the other woman's hand grab her shoulder and slam her against the wall. "What are you doing?" The brunette scowled at the Bella.

"What is your deal, Beca?" Aubrey demanded, now placing her other hand on the younger woman's other shoulder as she pushed the freshman's back flat against the cold bricks.

"What are you talking about? What is your deal? You're the one shoving me against the wall!"

"The disobedience…The flirting!" The pitch of the blonde's voice becoming shrill as she raised her voice more.

"What the hell - what flirting?!" Beca yelled back.

"Stop feigning ignorance, Beca! All the flirting you do with Chloe! And then I see the way you look at Jesse, too! What are you trying to accomplish?!"

"I thought you were pissed about losing your chance to win the ICCA," she replied, now perplexed by the shift in the topic of their argument.

"I am! But I also want to know what you're trying to do! How does someone like you have all these people pining after you when you just string them along but make no move to act on all the flirting you do with them?" Aubrey pursed her lips as she waited for a reply.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about Aubrey, and I'm done with this conversation," Beca pushed the other woman's hand off her shoulder and was turning to free her other shoulder as well when Aubrey slammed her once more against the wall, this time using her full body to pin her there.

"No, you're not getting away from me that easily. You're going to answer my question, Beca Mitchell, otherwise I'll just keep you here all night. And stop pretending you don't know what I'm getting at because you know exactly what I'm talking about too," she huffed.

"I'm not trying to accomplish anything with them and I'm not flirting with anyone. Also, who is 'all these people' you're referring you?" The freshman looked up at Aubrey still confused by the entire current situation.

"Well even if you don't think you are, you are flirting with them. And I mean Jesse, Chloe…Me," her voice dropped to a hushed tone as she included herself on the list.

"You're pining after me?" Beca laughed in disbelief. "Is that why you're acting all jealous? At first I thought it was because maybe you had feelings for Chloe and wanted me away from Jesse because of the whole Bellas and Treble Makers not being allowed to even look at each other because of your rule, but really? This is why?"

"Yes, Beca, is that so hard to believe?" Aubrey responded curtly. She could feel her cheeks burning as the humiliation was settling in as well as regret for having said anything. She couldn't stand the condescending look on the freshman's face.

"Yeah, actually, it is because you hate me," the former Bella arched her eyebrow.

"I don't though. I don't hate you," Aubrey sighed.

"You sure make it seem like you do."

"I get scared too sometimes, you know," the older woman murmured, dropping her gaze to their feet.

"Are you scared, Aubrey?" Beca pushed.

Aubrey chewed on her lower lip. She hated placing herself in the vulnerable position, but as ridiculous as it was to her, she still clung to a small shred of hope that maybe the brunette would realize just how much she was falling for her despite loathing at the thought of admitting it outright and that maybe Beca would feel the same way too, but also didn't want to admit it either though would make an exception so she didn't have to. Being vulnerable meant being weak and a Posen was never weak, yet Aubrey had never felt more exposed and open for an attack as she did right now standing there in front of the younger woman.

"I… Why did you just leave me like that after we'd spent all that time together?" She asked in barely more than a whisper.

"I already told you," Beca heaved a sigh, "We're not even friends and it was just sex - nothing more."

"We could be friends though." Aubrey knew she was pressing her luck and it was only a matter of time now before Beca would really laugh in her face and walk away.

"We're terrible for each other," the younger woman rolled her eyes and smirked. "Have you been paying attention to our conversations? All we do is argue. Look, I'm sorry you're still hung up on that, but it was never anything more than sex for me. We're never going to be more than friends, let alone even be friends at all. Let me go," the freshman gave another heavy sigh.

In a final desperate attempt, which Aubrey was painfully aware it being incredibly uncharacteristic of herself, she leaned down and pressed her lips against Beca's.

"Aubrey, stop. Whatever you feel for me, I don't feel for you," she grumbled, finally pulling away after a minute.

"Then why did you hesitate? Why didn't you push me away?" Aubrey challenged.

"You surprised me!" The younger woman frowned as she did her best to defend herself.

"You had plenty of time to break the kiss but you didn't. Why can't you just admit your feelings?!" The blonde cried out in frustration.

"Because I don't have that kind for you!"

"God, Beca, you're so damn stubborn!" Aubrey pushed herself away from the freshman.

"You're one to talk! Why don't you admit you have feelings for me then?!"

"I just did! I kissed you!" She exclaimed.

"But you didn't actually say anything! Tell me what your exact feelings are for me and then we can talk," Beca declared.

Aubrey could only stand there with her mouth agape as the words stuck in the back of her throat as she stared down at the other woman. She wanted to tell Beca how she felt, but she was afraid of the chance that the freshman was telling her the truth about not reciprocating her feelings. In that case the older Bella would've put herself out there on the spot only to be turned down, and the sting of rejection wasn't something her pride was allowing her to risk enduring.

"That's what I thought," the brunette muttered as she walked off, the older Bella doing nothing to stop her.

Once Beca was out of sight, Aubrey wrapped one arm around herself and rested the elbow of her other arm on it and pinched the bridge of her nose. It should have come as no surprise to her really that the freshman would make things intentionally difficult for her and she was a complete idiot to think that this would've been any exception to that. She'd wanted Beca to confess her feelings first so that she could know for sure if the younger woman was sure of what she was saying without any spec of doubt in her mind as this would let Aubrey know if she were only setting herself up to get hurt or not. Although it could've been argued that she already had done such a thing by allowing herself to have feelings for Beca and even more so to accept that she did. She rarely ever allowed herself to fall for anyone as love was fool's illusion at happiness. She didn't need someone else - didn't need to love anyone else - to be happy, but she wanted to as much as she didn't like to accept that desire. Yet she also wanted the other person to love her in turn and especially, to love her imperfections; her uptight nature, her need for things to always be perfect, how meticulously she planned things out so that the chance of any surprises happening along the way to her goal would be minimal, her set ways of doing things - everything that everyone else appeared to cause people to not want anything to do with her. But she didn't want to be the first person to admit to her feelings because just as she'd begrudgingly confessed to the freshman only moments ago, she was scared. She was scared of getting hurt and love always seemed to lead to that in time. She shut people out, but wanted someone to fight their way through all her defenses, get to really know her, and most of all, stay no matter how insufferable she could be at times. Her frigid exterior along with all her imperfections were perfect repellents to do just that as she didn't want to let the wrong people in, but in pushing people away it caused her to feel painfully lonely.

The feeling of loneliness was something that Aubrey had become accustomed to as she never had many close friends, Chloe being the only one if she were perfectly honest about it. But this year she and the redhead were always at odds and the tension in the air when they were together - just the two of them - was thick. She still resented that Chloe had left her for Beca which in turn caused her to be more curt and harsh with her best friend. Chloe, who was clearly holding back her feelings and not opening up to talk to the blonde, had taken on the same demeanour with Aubrey. Though the older Bella was aware she hadn't exactly given her friend any reason to confide in her as Chloe had used to do the previous years due to how she continuously shot down the younger woman's opinions and had cornered her into silence. It was regrettable, but what was done was done and there was little Aubrey could do about it now but figure out a way to work things out with Chloe later.

Later would certainly be later, however, as since they all believed they were out of the ICCA, Chloe had gone to the hospital to get her nodes removed. Aubrey had gone to visit her a few times although her visits were brief and the silence that hung between them was an uncomfortable one as they still had issues to work out pertaining to how the blonde had treated her only friend that year, but given that the younger Bella not meant to speak and instead rest her voice, none of those visits were the time to discuss the matter. Instead they were reduced to Aubrey asking yes or no questions to Chloe, making sure she felt okay and she was being given the care she needed while she was there to which the redhead would nod her response to each question before the awkward quiet settled in and Aubrey would break the silence by saying she should leave and get up and walk out of the room to go about the rest of her day.

Aubrey's morning began as any other: she woke early, dressed, and went to the gym for her morning yoga session. She was still upset by how her last conversation with Beca had gone and still refused to be the first to explicitly voice her feelings for the freshman, and so the two had ceased speaking since that night until one of them decided to break the ice and say something first. That didn't stop her from wondering how the brunette was doing and how she was spending her time now that she didn't have the obligation of attending Bellas rehearsals. Probably back to being cooped up in her room working on mixes or something of that sort. Maybe she'd fixed things between herself and Jesse and they were together, the second thought resulting in Aubrey wrinkling her nose as she frowned. Thinking of Beca with Jesse was not a thought she liked to have as it filled her with frustration and anger at the former Bella although she knew she couldn't place full blame on Beca for keeping her distance as well. Aubrey knew she hadn't made herself easy to talk to for the other woman and their constant clashing only pushed Beca further away. Bluetooth headset hooked on her right ear and book laid open out in front of her, she began her usual routine with a sigh as she shook those thoughts from her head. Just then, she received a call and pressing the side of her Bluetooth, she took the call.

"Aubrey Posen speaking," she answered.

"Due to The Footnotes being disqualified, The Bellas are able to be back in the competition if you're able and interested," John, one of the announcers that sat in the booth above the stage with Gail, explained on the other end.

"Yes, of course, sir," Aubrey beamed, feeling the excitement and the chance at winning once more within reach.

"Great, we'll see you at Lincoln Center."

"Yes, I'm looking forward to it. Thank you, sir, you won't be disappointed!" The blonde grinned as she hung up. "YES!" She exclaimed, thrilled by the news.


	8. Opportunities

Although The Bellas had been disbanded due to their disqualification, Aubrey had held onto all of their numbers and sent out a mass text to them to inform them of the turn of events. Beca excluded, however, as she had left the group and it was therefore unnecessary to fill her in. The following morning Aubrey rose early as she always did and went through her morning ritual of yoga then a shower before heading over to the rehearsal room where the other Bellas soon entered the room shortly after. She handed them each a sheet of paper with the final setlist they were to sing for the finals as they all sat around on the bleachers when Chloe made a comment that caused the lead Bella's jaw to go slack with fury and vexation.

"Aca-scuse me, you did what?!" Aubrey shrieked at her.

"I called Beca," the redhead repeated herself calmly, giving a shrug.

"Why?!"

"She makes us better," the younger woman responded, for once refusing to be forced into silence again as she usually had allowed the blonde to do to her.

"Chloe, that's not your call to make!" Aubrey snapped at her.

"I have been there for you for so many years and all you ever do is treat me like shit, Aubrey!"

"Stop! Enough! This isn't how things are supposed to go! I joined The Bellas to make friends and get away from my boyfriends, but this is some serious horse shit," Amy shook her head, disappointment written all over her face as the others began to gather up their things.

"Beca was right. We should've listened to her," the redhead crossed her arms as she turned to leave the room along with the others.

"Oh, so this is my fault now?!" She cried out at her friend.

"I never said that," the younger Bella sighed.

"No, but you're all thinking it, aren't you? That I'm the girl obsessed with winning!" She had to admit - not out loud of course as she refused to give them the satisfaction of being right and gloat about it - that the other woman was right and she was probably teetering on the boarder that separated the strong desire to win from the obsession of needing to win. "Well you know what? I can let go! This time I'm not going to choke it down!" Aubrey screamed.

"Been there before. …Wait, what are we talking about?" Stacie murmured under her breath.

Aubrey leaned over, placing her hands on her knees as she stared the group down. They all looked back at her wondering what was going to happen next. The older woman's body lurched as she felt her stomach churn and soon she heaved up her stomach contents, letting the vomit spew out in front of her just as it had the previous year when she'd had her solo on stage. All the Bellas scattered, climbing over the seats in the bleachers as they tried to get a safe distance away from Aubrey. Except for Chloe, that was, who applauded the grotesque action.

"Come on! I know you can do better than that!" She taunted her friend who let loose another stream of vomit.

"Enough! ENOUGH!" Amy screamed at them all, waving her hand up and down in order to try and get their attention, but her attempt was in vain as Aubrey and Chloe were too absorbed in their own feud to pay much mind to anything or anyone else.

"We could've won and been champions!" Chloe shouted as she broke into a sprint to reach the Pitch Pipe. However Aubrey had the same idea as she did the same which resulted in both women clawing at each other to get it from the other's grasp. "Give me the Pitch Pipe, you bitch!"

Amy, who wanted to break up the fight so they could get back to why they were all there in the first place, grabbed each of the women and did her best to keep them separated from each other although Chloe managed to hook her fingers in the hem of the other woman's sweater and pulled at it as she reached for the Pitch Pipe. In doing so, Aubrey lost her grip on the object as the women watched it fly from her hands and land a few yards away. They both freed themselves from Amy's grip on them and dove for the Pitch Pipe, landing on the ground with a hard thud as their outstretched hands could just barely touch the metal of the Pitch Pipe. Yet Amy had also done the same, body slamming and pinning the two women to the ground, immobilizing them.

"Guys! What is going on?!" Beca yelled at them all, having to raise her voice significantly to be heard over the rape whistle that Stacie was sounding as Cynthia Rose had her hand on the back of her thigh, and over the shouting between Aubrey, Chloe, and Amy.

Aubrey's head snapped up as she heard the freshman's voice. This was the last thing she needed right now: for the younger brunette to walk in just as everything had already turned into utter chaos. "Nothing!" She replied tersely as she got to her feet and pointed a finger at her as she strode over to the smaller brunette. "This is a normal Bellas rehearsal, which you aren't anymore."

"About that…" Beca sighed as her gaze drifted to the ceiling to avoid eye contact with the older Bella before looking back at her, "I was wondering if you'd let me back in."

Aubrey pressed her lips together as she placed her hands on her hips. She didn't understand why Beca would want to come back to the group that she found to be a living hell when all she did was defy her and argue incessantly with nearly every decision she had made. It didn't appear to Aubrey that the smaller woman had ever had much fun and lacked any interest in The Bellas so her change of heart and wanting to be back in bemused her. Unless she was back for Chloe. That had to have been the reason as Chloe had contacted Beca to let her know that The Bellas were back in the competition and had asked the freshman to rejoin. There was no way that Beca had wanted to return for her sake in the slightest. Aubrey gave a pout as her stare fell to the floor beneath her feet, her lack of a reply serving as her answer to Beca's request.

"Okay then," the freshman mumbled as she took hold of the back of one of the metal folding chairs and began to drag it towards the door behind her, the sound reminding everyone the horrid sound of chalk when it screeched against the blackboard - like nails on a chalkboard. After walking a few paces, Beca looked back over her shoulder to see if Aubrey had possibly changed her mind, but the woman made no indication that she was going to change her mind and so the freshman walked another few paces before doing the same thing once again of looking back. On the third time she looked back at the blonde and turned to go and cross the last few feet before reaching the doors she let out a relieved sigh as she heard the older woman speak up.

"Wait!" Aubrey called after her.

"Thank you, that would've been embarrassing, the freshman muttered as she turned and made her way back to the other Bellas who had all been waiting and silently hoping with bated breath for the lead Bella to allow the brunette back into the group. "I think we should all confess something," she suggested, "I mean, you know, to bring us all together and closer or whatever because the tension is going to kill us," she gave a thin smile in everyone's direction who all nodded in agreement as they made a circle with the chairs.

The thought of confessing anything, of putting herself out there, frightened Aubrey yet she knew if things were to get better then she'd have to comply. "I have a lot of sex," Stacie broke the ice and started them off.

"Yeah, we know," Amy commented.

"Only because I just told you," the taller brunette looked at her as if the remark had been rather stupidly made.

"Alright," Aubrey got to her feet as everyone's eyes focused on her, "I know I've been really hard on all of you. I just… I can't lose because he'll be disappointed in me - my father, I mean. I work as much as I do so that he'll be proud of me. If you don't succeed, pack your bags. That was what he'd say to me and that's what I've lived my life by, so I'm sorry for being difficult with all of you - I just hate not being the one in control at all times and failing. I owe everyone here an apology - especially Chloe, who's been my best friend but who I've treated really badly this year - so I'm sorry," she sighed, taking a seat. Admitting she was in the wrong and having to apologize were things Aubrey wasn't accustomed to doing as it had always been her way or no way at all - she was always right. Her pride and stubbornness often got in the way of her being able to admit any mistakes and apologize for them unless necessary.

"Wow," Amy muttered.

"I got my nodes removed, but the doctor said I may never be able to sing higher than a G sharp," Chloe admitted with a sniff when it was her turn. As she took her seat, Aubrey placed her hand over her friend's to comfort her as a look of sympathy formed on her face.

"I've got something I have to confess," Cynthia Rose stood up.

"Here it comes," Amy spoke in barely more than a whisper.

"I have a serious gambling problem."

"What?" Both Beca and Amy spoke in unison.

"It started after I broke up with my girlfriend two years ago," she added, sitting down.

"Whoomp, there it is," Amy nodded and turned her head to face Denise as she saw caught the other woman mouthing an 'I love you' to Cynthia Rose.

They all went around in a circle like that, each confiding something personal until it was Beca's turn. A small part of Aubrey hoped that she would finally confess her feelings, but the more rational part of her knew the chance of that happening was extremely slim to none. Like herself, the freshman was a private person and didn't like to share details of that sort to an audience. When she stripped away her own thorny demeanour and Beca's sarcasm, they weren't that different from each other; they were both painfully adamant, stuck in their ways, unyielding, and both had high defenses to protect themselves. Perhaps Beca was also afraid of getting hurt and that was why she also shut others out - it seemed like a logical explanation anyway. As she'd become absorbed in her thoughts, Aubrey didn't fully catch Beca's confession though knew it had something to do about touching tongues with her cousin, which the blonde wasn't sure she wanted to try and understand.

Before the freshman reclaimed her seat, Aubrey got to her feet, "What do we do now, Beca?" She questioned, tossing the younger woman the Pitch Pipe. The brunette hadn't expected to have the object thrown in her direction and she fumbled with it before dropping it completely, watching as it rolled off into the large pool of Aubrey's vomit and came to a stop there.

"Yeah, I'm not getting that," she pointed to the Pitch Pipe, shaking her head. "Anyway, I have an idea, but I think we should go somewhere else away from all that," she gestured to the yellow-orange colour of the vomit. "Let's go to the empty pool."

Once they'd all arrived at the pool, Beca turned and faced them. "Aubrey, pick a song," she nodded in the lead Bella's direction.

"Uh… Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars."

"Let's remix this business. Chloe, are you alright taking the lead on this?" The brunette asked, to which Chloe simply nodded.

Raising her hands, she began to conduct the group, dividing them quickly with a motion of her hands. After Chloe had gotten a few lines into the song, Beca added her voice singing Just a Dream with the backup of the other Bellas who weren't singing Just The Way You Are with Chloe.

"That sounded pretty good," she smiled at them when they'd finished.

"It was really good," Aubrey gave a smile of approval.

"I also had an idea for the finals, but you're going to have to be okay with me changing the setlist," the freshman stated, mentally bracing herself for Aubrey to revert back to her stubborn self that refused to budge on not changing up the songs they were to sing.

"That's fine," the blonde replied as if conceding defeat, "I did try to give you the Pitch Pipe after all" she laughed softly.

"Sorry about dropping it," the brunette gave a sheepish shrug while the others began to head back to the rehearsal room. She glanced over at the others, making sure they were a safe distance ahead before turning back to Aubrey. "Was there a reason why you chose that song?"

This was Aubrey's chance to tell Beca how she felt with her words this time instead of only actions, and she opened her mouth to do so, as she felt a light blush appear on her face. Though with the cool air nipping at everyone's faces, she hoped the younger brunette would only think that it was because of the weather that was causing her cheeks to redden ever so slightly more.

"No, it's just a song I like," Aubrey offered Beca a petite smile. It wasn't entirely a lie as she did enjoy the song, but she had also chosen it because she hoped that maybe the freshman would pick up on the real reason she chose it - as a way to admit to her feelings without using her own words to say them.

"It's a good song," Beca agreed. "We should go catch up," she flashed the older Bella a quick smile before walking off.

Aubrey couldn't help from feeling her heart sink as she knew Beca could've used that chance to say what her true feelings were as well, but had decided against it. The blonde became irked as she didn't see why she had to make the first move yet again as she already had when she'd kissed the brunette just the other night, but it was clear to her that the freshman was not going to do or say anything more than she already had unless Aubrey went first. With a weighted sigh, the Bella shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket and followed a few yards behind the freshman back to the rehearsal room to hear what new set of songs she had in mind for them all to perform at Lincoln Center. Maybe someday soon she'd be able to not get cold feet and back out of expressing her feelings to Beca, but for the time being her fear of being rejected still gripped onto her heart tightly, forcing her continue to say nothing.


	9. Bittersweet Victory

"8am tomorrow morning sharp. We've already lost days to practice since we were disqualified so we have to really get to work, which means less griping and complaining and lots of effort," Aubrey instructed after Beca had made the changes to the setlist and had explained her idea for what they would do for the final round of the competition.

"Do we get lunch breaks?" Stacie asked.

"Fine, but it'll have to be a very quick one then straight back to practicing. Alright, I'll see you all tomorrow morning," the older Bella nodded as they all made their way out the door.

Although it was evident that Aubrey had managed to loosen up more, she still had her moments where her uptight and controlling nature would manifest, but with some coaxing and reassurance from Chloe that everything would turn out perfectly fine, she would relax more and the rehearsal would resume. However the lingering gazes and the usual witty banter between the freshman and the redhead continued much to Aubrey's silent dismay. It had served as confirmation that Beca had indeed returned to The Bellas for Chloe's sake first and foremost. She couldn't claim she was surprised that Beca was drawn to her friend's zesty personality, but she was unable to help the sting of jealousy she felt. Just once she wished that someone would notice and want her instead of her being the second or last choice. It was a selfish desire that Aubrey knew her father would chide her for, but the feeling was there and there wasn't anything she could do to make it go away as much as she wished she could. But as usual, she said nothing concerning her feelings for Beca to her nor to Chloe, thus she continued to watch with muted disdain as the pair continued to laugh amongst themselves and spend time together outside of rehearsals as well.

After days of long rehearsals and going over the same routine repeatedly until it was perfect, with the occasional clash of personalities between Aubrey and Beca, the night of the final round of the ICCA had come. Beca was first to be waiting in the wings as she watched The Treble Makers perform with the audience cheering them on and adoring everything they did. Chloe and Aubrey soon joined her with the other Bellas trailing behind as they prepared themselves for when they were to be called out onto the stage.

"Even though some of you are stick thin, you all have fat hearts and that's what counts. I love you guys and I'd do anything for you except run or climb stairs," Amy spoke, earning herself a smile from both Beca and Chloe and a small laugh from Aubrey.

"I love you awesome nerds," the freshman smirked at them.

"Bellas? You're up," one of the crew members let them know, handing them each a microphone as they walked out onto the stage.

Aubrey glanced out at the audience and noted how they reacted to their new look with curious whispers and approving smiles and nods of their heads.

The sound of the applause and the standing ovation they received caused Aubrey to break into a grin. For once the audience wasn't bored to tears and she knew she had Beca to thank for that - the freshman who had never competed in an a cappella competition, who didn't have much clue as to what a cappella was the first day they met, but who had a strong passion for music and knew what songs to mix together for a mashup and what songs didn't go well together had been the reason The Bellas had won. As they all stood there smiling and laughing at the positive feedback they were getting from the audience, Aubrey turned to Beca and gave her a hug. For the briefest of moments, the sounds of the cheering people in front of them melted away as she felt the younger brunette's lips brush against her ear.

"Thank you," Beca whispered to her, "For giving me a chance."

Aubrey didn't have time to respond as the smaller woman pulled away and smiled widely at her. Gathering up her courage, the blonde decided that once they were out of the auditorium, she'd pull the freshman aside and finally tell her how she felt and hope that Beca would reciprocate her feelings. She knew that if they did decide to embark on a relationship, they'd have to deal with Beca either remaining in college and Aubrey moving on to law school or Beca moving to L.A. as she had originally planned and finally be able to pursue her dream of becoming a DJ. No matter what they did, she was sure that if they both really wanted the relationship, they'd find a way to make it work.

"Hey Beca, can I talk to you once we get outside?" Aubrey asked as they descended the stairs on the side of the stage to make their way to their seats in the audience.

"Yeah, sure," the brunette threw a smile in the older Bella's direction over her shoulder as she walked down the row of empty seats that had been reserved for them.

Aubrey stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Beca turn to face Jesse and after a short exchange of words, none that she could really make out over the noise of the crowd, she witnessed the younger woman wrap her arms around The Treble Maker's neck and kiss him.

Aubrey could feel her heart take a sharp drop as her throat tightened as if an invisible hand were choking her. All she could do was stare at the couple with her mouth agape, the noise around her intensifying and become deafening to her as Beca continued to kiss Jesse. All the flirting with Chloe must've really been just friendly banter between them or simply harmless flirting while she'd had her eye on Jesse the entire time. Of course Beca would choose him over her; Jesse was handsome, he worked with her and therefore got to see her much more often than she did and in turn get to know Beca far better than she ever would've been able to. It was a no brainer that the brunette would go for him. Watching them together was like watching a scene for a typical romance movie where the guy always gets the girl at the end.

"Aubrey, are you okay?" Chloe asked from behind her.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Thrilled, actually, that we did so well!" The blonde plastered a smile to her face as she turned to her friend.

"You sure? You look like you're about to-"

"I'm fine, really," Aubrey interrupted the other woman, giving her shoulder a light squeeze of reassurance, "I promise."

"Okay, if you say so," Chloe looked at her skeptically.

Was it really that obvious that she wasn't in fact okay at all? Aubrey could feel her eyes sting with forming tears and she knew she couldn't hold them back for much longer. She felt weak in that moment because she couldn't gain control over her emotions just when she needed to.

"Sorry, I'll be right back. I have to use the bathroom really badly," a hollow laugh passed between her lips as she excused herself and hurried out of the auditorium doors and walked outside.

"Damn it!" She spat under her breath. This wasn't how the night was supposed to unfold. Beca knew exactly how she felt about her and Aubrey had been certain that the freshman had to have felt something, even if it were small. She was so sure of it and yet she had just watched as the brunette kissed that Treble Maker. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, trying not to smear her make up too much as she attempted to regain her composure.

"Hey Aubrey, you wanted to talk?" Beca called over to her as the other Bellas went to go wait in the bus.

"It's nothing," Aubrey grumbled and walked passed the younger woman.

"What? No way, you had something to say!"

"It doesn't matter now, okay Beca?! Just leave me alone!" Aubrey raised her voice which cracked giving away that she was nearing the verge of tears once more.

"But it does matter! You're obviously really upset about whatever it is, so will you just tell me?"

"Fine! You really want to know? I love you Beca, but as I said it doesn't matter anymore now since you seemed pretty damn happy kissing Jesse!" She swallowed, biting down on the inside of her cheek, trying to steady her breathing - anything to keep herself from breaking down in front of the other woman and not to mention in public as well.

"It's too late, Aubrey. You had so many chances to say that and now… It's too late," Beca repeated. "I'm with Jesse now," she sighed, raking a hand through her hair.

"Yeah, I saw," the blonde retorted, "But you know, Beca, I don't know why you're making me be the one to make all the first moves here. I kissed you first for god's sake! I kissed you first more than once and now you want me to admit my feelings first, so I did only to have it all thrown back in my face! God, I'm such an idiot for thinking that maybe I had even a shot with you. Was this all some kind of a game to you, Beca? String me along, make me open up to you only so you could slap me in the face by kissing someone else?! Why couldn't you have been the one to admit your feelings first? Why did it have to be me? And you wonder why I'm so cold towards people and don't get close to people! Because this happens to me!" Aubrey motioned between the two of them while she sniffed as a tear began to roll down her cheek followed by another. "I get hurt and I'm tired of it! I'm tired of being people's second choice! I've done everything you asked of me - I made the first move - but that's obviously not good enough for you! I'll never be good enough for you, will I," she shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as if they could become a wall between herself and the younger woman before her and protect her from the excruciating pain that was crushing her lungs.

"Aubrey-" Beca began with a sigh.

"Save it, Mitchell. I'm not interested in hearing any of your excuses anymore. I tried, but it wasn't enough and that's fine. It's my fault for thinking things could've ever gone differently," Aubrey murmured as she walked passed the brunette and headed back to the bus.

At least this was her senior year and once she graduated and left for law school, she could leave Barden University behind with all of its bittersweet memories. She could forget about Beca and all the agony the brunette had caused her and turn all her attention back to her studies, and without the freshman returning her feelings, she didn't have to fret over how they'd maintain their relationship. She had Chloe still - her best friend - and that was the only person Aubrey needed. Love was for fools who were only asking for their heart to get broken later on. Loving someone was like asking to be killed in the worst way possible; you'd still be alive and breathing, but otherwise feel numb and nearly dead inside - as if your life was coming crashing down around you. Maybe not quite that dramatic, or perhaps that would be the case exactly, but either way the anguish of having your heartbroken was not a pain that anyone wanted to ever feel and the only way to prevent this was to shut everyone else out and keep them at arm's length. This was exactly what Aubrey planned to do - not let anyone else ever get that close to her again so she couldn't be hurt. Perhaps she'd have the feeling of loneliness pay her visits every now and again, but she considered it as a small price to pay in comparison to the hurt she was feeling now.


	10. Everything Comes with a Price

Since the night of the finals, which had now been a week ago, Aubrey hadn't spoken a word to Beca. She had no need to as it had been made perfectly clear to her that the freshman didn't need her nor wanted her in the slightest. Just as she had done prior to meeting the aspiring DJ, Aubrey had thrown herself back into her books and took the occasional break whenever Chloe decided to pluck the book from her hands and drag her outside of their dorm room or from the back of the library where the blonde could often be found diligently reading her books, taking notes, and writing essays. If it hadn't been for her friend, there was a high chance the blonde would cease being social beyond what was required of her on a daily basis. The rejection from Beca still caused her heart to ache more than she would've liked, but she was certain that in time the younger woman would become nothing more than a distant memory and the pain would no longer be there. She still had one more meeting with The Bellas to announce who the Pitch Pipe would be handed down to although it was honestly no secret as everyone had openly wished for it to be Beca. Beca seemed to have nearly successfully taken everything from Aubrey as far as the older Bella was concerned. Beca snatched away all the respect from the group not long after she first had joined, had stolen away her best friend albeit temporarily, and everyone was always gushing over how great she was. It was always Beca this and Beca that without a moment of rest for the blonde's ears. The younger woman hadn't even wanted to take part in The Bellas when she had first approached their table at the Activities Fair at the beginning of the year, scoffing at the thought of an a cappella competition and deeming it as lame. As much as she hated to say it, Aubrey had to agree with the others that the freshman was the best candidate to be next in line to inherit the title of lead Bella and the Pitch Pipe.

"I hope you've been enjoying yourselves since the win," Aubrey greeted the women as they walked into the rehearsal room. "I'm sure you're all aware as to why you're here, yes?"

"Yeah, but why do you sound so formal?" Cynthia Rose asked.

"It's all part of her need to be poised and all that," Beca remarked, receiving a quick glare from the older blonde.

"Oh come on, Aubrey, relax. It's not like you'll have to put up with me much longer so I might as well make the most of it," a laugh bubbled up from behind her lips.

"Wouldn't be a rehearsal without your sarcasm," the corners of the older Bella's lips curled into a forced smile.

"I think I just sensed some sarcasm from you," a smug smirk appeared on the freshman's mouth.

"Yes, well, you're not the only one who knows how to speak it," Aubrey muttered. "Anyway, enough of the tangent. I'm here to tell all of you who the next lead Bella will be, though I'm sure it comes as no surprise that it's Beca," she maintained her courteous smile. Although she agreed with the decision as it was mostly based on the opinion of the others and Beca was best qualified for the job, she was still upset that it was the brunette who had earned the Pitch Pipe after her. It just gave one more thing for Beca to take from her though it wasn't technically as if the younger woman was really taking the Pitch Pipe from has it was being passed down to her and Aubrey was leaving soon anyway, but it still felt as if she were losing to Beca yet again like the time she felt as if the brunette was stealing her best friend away from her earlier that year.

"Knew it," Amy nodded as the others cheered and congratulated the small brunette who grinned.

"So you're going to stay another year?" Chloe chimed in.

"Yeah, I guess I am now. Can't let everyone down now that I'm next to be the leader of this awesome singing nerdy group, right?" She laughed. "Besides, I can still work on my mixes in my spare time."

"You won't have as much of it next year when you're the leader. You're going to have to be dedicated and work hard on creating the setlist for the year and-" the older woman began to list off the various responsibilities, clenching her jaw when she was cut off.

"I know, Aubrey, geez. Don't worry, I got this," the brunette arched an eyebrow at her.

"Right, of course you do," she replied politely. "I'll leave you all to celebrating and whatnot since I have to go finish up my assignments for my classes then."

"Always busy doing something homework related. You should take breaks more," Stacie rolled her eyes.

"Unlike the rest of you, I can't afford that luxury if I'm to maintain a good GPA and still attend law school," Aubrey explained as she turned and headed out the doors.

"So that's it?" A voice rang out behind the blonde.

"What do you mean 'that's it?' Of course that's it," Aubrey answered tersely as she turned to face the smaller woman only a few yards behind her. "We're done with rehearsals for the year since we have nothing else coming up. Now it's back to focusing on classes."

"No, I mean that's it as in that's all you're going to say to me?"

"Congratulations, Mitchell, you'll be the next lead Bella soon. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Aubrey could feel the annoyance in her blood rising as she stood there. She wanted Beca to leave her alone, to stop causing her more pain with every word that came rolling off her tongue. She wanted to return to her old life - the one she had before she ever had the misfortune of meeting the aspiring DJ.

"You know what I mean," Beca groaned.

"No, actually, I do not so why don't you explain it to me, Mitchell? What more do you want from me?"

"So we're on a last name basis now? Fine, Posen," she grumbled, "Why do you have to make this so difficult," Beca muttered under her breath.

"Me? Really? I've done everything you've asked of me - being the first to tell you how I feel - and you have the audacity to ask why I make things so difficult? You're the one who strung me along only to throw it back in my face later, so don't you dare place blame on me!" Aubrey lashed out at her.

"Look, I didn't mean to-"

"Enough, Mitchell. I'm not having this conversation with you again; I neither have the energy nor the time for it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things I have to do."

"I didn't mean for any of this to go as it did, okay?" Beca shouted after her.

"No, it's not okay! If you never had any intention of being with me then you should've told me from the start instead of making me look like the fool who believed in something that you knew was never going to happen. Everything that happened between us, it was all a mistake that I only have myself to blame for the outcome," the older blonde stated.

"Do you regret it?" Beca inquired hesitantly.

"Are you afraid I'll say yes?" Aubrey sneered.

"You're not the only one who's hurt here, you know, Aubrey. It's not like I wanted to make you upset and cause you pain. What happened with Jesse, none of that was planned. I didn't know we were going to kiss and I didn't really know I felt how I feel about him until we did. Kiss, that is," the freshman let out a frustrated sigh as she crossed her arms.

"And what do you feel for Jesse? Wait, no, I don't want to know. You should've figured that out though before you gave me false hope that we… Never mind, I'm tired of talking about this with you," an irked sigh slipped from between Aubrey's lips. "And just for the record, as much as I loathe saying this to you, no, I don't regret it, but that is the final admission I'll make to you. Just because it was a mistake doesn't mean it's something that's regrettable. I learned from it anyway - it reinforced my belief that it's better to not let people in because this is what happens when I do, so in a twisted way I should thank you for that. I hope you have a good rest of the year, Mitchell. Goodbye," she left the younger brunette standing there as she walked away, back to her dorm to drown herself amongst the black ink of the words that adorned the white pages of her books.

Speaking with the younger woman always drained Aubrey of every ounce of her energy. It was how it used to be when they were in the midst of Bellas rehearsals and the freshman would fight her on all her opinions. Except now the difference was that now instead of only making her feel frustrated and more furious at the end with Beca, it also inflicted emotional pain to herself. Beca was with Jesse now and as far as she knew they were perfectly happy together. She was glad for the smaller brunette that she had found someone to make her feel however Jesse did, which must've been something great if she was now dating him, but she was still upset that it came at the expense of her own feelings. The thoughts of the entire situation enraged Aubrey as she was more upset that she let a single person toy with her feelings as Beca had done and leave her high and dry and she was upset with herself for still being hung up on it all.

When she walked through the door to her dorm later that evening, Chloe looked up from where she was seated on her bed and tilted her head, worried for her friend. "Are you okay?" She questioned softly.

"I'm fine, thank you. Just tired from all the studying." She felt guilty about lying to the redhead as she was the one person Aubrey knew she could confide in without being judged and ridiculed for whatever it was she said, but her issue with Beca was ridiculous and trivial and therefore not worth the amount of time it would take to explain it all to her friend.

"Whoever they are, they don't deserve you," Chloe murmured.

"I never said anything about being upset over someone," the blonde arched her eyebrow at the other woman.

"You don't have to. I'm your best friend, remember? I know you, Aubrey - I know when you're hurting and when there's something on your mind," the redhead smiled warmly at her.

"You do know me the best out of everyone else," she concurred, mirroring the gentle smile as she took a seat on Chloe's bed where her friend patted the empty space beside her and welcomed the embrace of the younger woman.

"You're amazing, and if they can't see that then it's their loss."

"I don't know if I'm amazing, but thank you," Aubrey gave Chloe's arm a squeeze. "But enough about me. How've you been and your classes since finally winning?" She gave a soft chuckle as she mentally recounted the night, stopping when The Bellas were declared the winners as she didn't want to think about watching Beca and Jesse's kiss.

"I've been good; still excited and can't believe we did it and won, and classes are fine. You know I'm here for you whenever you need, right?" Chloe shifted the focus of the conversation back onto her friend.

"That's good to hear. And yeah, I know, just as I'm here for you," Aubrey smiled at the other woman.


	11. Revelation

"We did it!" Chloe exclaimed enthusiastically as she flung her arms around Aubrey, who hugged her back just as tightly.

"We did," she agreed with a smile.

"Guess it's off to the big leagues for you now - on your way to being a famous lawyer."

Aubrey whipped around to see Beca standing there. The soon-to-be sophomore was most likely the only one not dressed up in formal attire as she stood there wearing dark pants, dark make-up, all of her piercings still there, and a plaid shirt. Although the blonde wouldn't have expected much different as the younger woman wasn't being forced to wear clothes like the old Bellas uniform, although she hadn't expected to see Beca there in the first place.

"I don't know about that, but a lawyer, yes. I didn't think you'd show up to something like this," she commented.

"Chloe asked me to drop by and see you guys off," Beca shrugged, flashing them a lopsided smile.

"I should've guessed as much," the blonde gave a knowing smile in turn.

"I thought it'd be nice to for us to see her one more time before we left Barden for good," Chloe piped up, unaware that it was the smaller brunette who had been the cause of her best friend's heartache the entire time and not something Aubrey had any intention of letting her in on now.

"It is very nice to see you again." Each word seared Aubrey's tongue as they tumbled from it like acid. It was completely the opposite; she wasn't at all overjoyed to see Beca and wanted to leave the small reunion as soon as she possibly could.

"Yeah, you too. I'll miss being a pain in your ass," Beca quipped. It seemed to Aubrey as if she was purposefully trying to make this unexpected meet up as painful for her as possible, but she didn't know why. The brunette knew she'd devastated her so she had no reason to twist the knife in her still mending heart any more than she already had.

"That makes one of us," the blonde gave a small huff. "How are you and Jesse?" She kept her cool as she posed her question though just mentioning the young man's name left a vile aftertaste in her mouth as it left her lips.

"We're good," Beca replied just as coolly.

"Aw, you two make a cute couple," the redhead cooed.

"So ready for another year?" Aubrey cut in to keep the conversation from continuing to focus on the brunette and her new boyfriend.

"Yeah, I guess so. As ready as I'll ever be though I still can't wait to go to L.A.," Beca laughed.

"Hey Becs, there you are! I thought I'd lost you in the crowd," Jesse smiled as he walked up behind the smaller woman.

"Oh shut up," the brunette smirked, giving him a playful shove.

Seeing Jesse there was like rubbing salt in her wound as the older blonde watched the two interact. It made her stomach churn and feel incredibly nauseous. "I didn't realize you came too," she had to practically choke out her words.

"I thought Becs would need someone to watch her and make sure she didn't get lost or trampled by all the people here," he grinned.

"Aren't you both just so humourous," a dry laugh passed between Aubrey's lips.

"One reason why Becs likes me so much," he gave another hearty laugh.

"Mitchell, can we talk? You know, so I can give you the whole, you better not let The Bellas lose speech before I miss my chance," she offered the younger woman a pressed smile.

"Yeah, I'll be right back," the freshman promised, leaving Jesse and Chloe to pass the time with small talk.

"What is it?" She asked once Aubrey had stopped when she'd decided they were a good enough distance away and out of earshot.

"Why did you really bring him?" The blonde demanded.

"Because he's my boyfriend," Beca answered as if it should've been the obvious reason. "I'm not going to not go places with him that you might happen to be at just because you don't like that he and I are together."

"I'm not saying you have to," Aubrey growled at her. "I just… I don't get it, Beca! Did those nights really mean absolutely nothing to you?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about this anymore," the freshman rolled her eyes.

"I don't, but I also know you know that it would- That I don't get along with Treble Makers," she corrected her statement in time. She refused to admit to Beca that it hurt to see them together as it would just give the brunette one more thing to use against her.

"The ICCA is over, Aubrey, you can let go of the whole Bellas and Treble Makers can't even glance at each other speech. I think that's going to be the first rule I get rid of once rehearsals start up again," she mused.

"Do you get some kind of warped amusement in getting on my nerves, Mitchell?" Aubrey glared at her.

"What do you want, Aubrey? I'm with Jesse now, okay? You need to let this go."

"Fine, but tell me one thing, and I want an honest answer."

"What is it?" Beca groaned.

"Did you ever like me at all - even just a little - or was it really purely just sex for you? And if you don't like me at all, then why did you agree to it in the first place?"

"I… It's complicated. Just know I'm sorry and we have to put it behind us," the younger woman frowned.

"That didn't answer my questions at all, Mitchell. And I can't do anything with an apology," she hissed.

There was a moment of silence as Beca let out another irked groan and ran her fingers through her hair. "Yes, I did like you, Aubrey, and even though you got on my nerves all the time because you're so damn stubborn too, I slept with you because I liked you," she finally confessed.

"So why Jesse then?"

Beca looked back at Jesse who was laughing and joking around with Chloe as they both waited for Aubrey and herself to return. "Because," she mumbled, licking her lips, "I was scared too, you know," she let out a heavy sigh, "I was scared that if I gave us a chance and it didn't work out… What would happen to us then? We'd just go our separate ways and never see or talk to each other again? I was scared…" She trailed off, glancing down to the ground as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I was scared that I'd lose you, but I kind of already did, huh? So in the end it didn't matter," She gave a short laugh at how familiar her own words sounded to her ears as they were the same words that Aubrey had said to her when she admitted her feelings. "We're still going our own ways."

"It doesn't have to end this way though, Beca, you can still change that," Aubrey nearly pleaded, but caught herself just in time before her voice sounded as if she were begging.

"No, I can't. It's too late. I'm with Jesse and things are fine. This is how things are now," the brunette shook her head, the chestnut waves of her hair bobbing softly as she did so.

"Fine then, if this is how you want things, I hope that you're happy with it - with him. Maybe he'll make you happier than I could ever hope to. I'm sorry things didn't work out between us and I'm sorry I took so long to tell you how I felt. I'm sorry I was too late," she lamented, a despondent smile rippled across her lips. "Good luck to you for your next year and for when you go off to L.A. to pursue DJ'ing. It was good to see you one last time, Beca Mitchell," Aubrey sighed, leaning over and giving the freshman a brief kiss on the cheek after making sure that neither Chloe nor Jesse were looking in their direction.

"Yeah… I'm sorry things turned out as they did, Aubrey," Beca apologized once more as they headed back, both feigning as if they were still in high spirits.

Aubrey had done all she could think to do, said everything she could think of, but Beca had always been adamant when she'd made up her mind just like herself, and in the end the older woman could only watch as the freshman walked away, hand in hand, with Jesse all the while secretly wishing that were her in his place instead. At least she knew that the younger woman hadn't viewed what they'd done together as a mistake she regretted and that Beca's feelings had matched her own despite how she refused to admit to it until much later. Their conversation was the closure she'd needed and now all she could do now was pretend that everything was okay despite how she felt as if she'd had her heart ripped out and stomped on all over yet again and with the amount of times it'd happened because of Beca was unknown to her as she'd lost count. If Beca was able to move past whatever they had been so easily, then there was no reason she shouldn't be able to do the same as well and she would have to now as she had no other choice. She couldn't allow herself to become so stuck in the past that she couldn't move forward to face her future and certainly not because she was allowing herself to become hindered by her own unrequited love for someone else who she would only be a passing thought to, and soon a fading memory. While Beca may not so much as think twice about her again, or maybe by the time the next school year came around she'd have forgotten about her by then, she wouldn't forget the younger woman. She'd always remember how much grief the brunette had caused her both in and out of Bellas rehearsals, how she'd entered her life and was the cause of nothing but disaster for her, but how between all their petty arguments, passionate kisses, snide comments, the late nights filled with nothing but the sounds of their heavy breathing and pleasured moans, she somehow came to love the younger woman. Or to be more accurate, how she came to fall in love with Beca and how she now came to having to let her go.

This was it, though, this was the end, and Aubrey would find her happiness some other way. Only this time she'd make sure she would find it without it being attached to someone that she could lose as she had with Beca. Perhaps she needed to go through all the anguish that the younger brunette had caused her to realize this; that she could be happy on her own and should never need someone, but only want them. It had been something her father had told her as well, but she had to experience the consequences of those decisions first hand to truly understand why love was foolish and why she could only depend on herself first and foremost - especially when it came to happiness. She had Chloe to support her and to give her company so she wouldn't be entirely alone, and she would do the same for the redhead as well as they were best friends after all. But she would never again give her heart away so easily to anyone and that was perfectly fine with her. Not everyone was cut out for love and maybe she was one of those people, but she had needed Beca to teach her that. Once she stepped off Barden's campus for good, she would be able to finally put everything that had happened behind her and start fresh at law school. Overall, her time at Barden had been a mix of both good and bad, laughter and tears - each year with its own highs and lows. Then again happily ever after only existed in fairy tales and life was bittersweet at best, and 'bittersweet' was the perfect word to describe her life so far.


	12. Reunion

Tired of the dorm life where bathrooms and showers alike were shared, where the food was subpar at best, and having merely five minutes of privacy without being disturbed by noise from other students in the adjacent rooms break the tranquil silence was a luxury, Aubrey had rented an apartment nearby the Yale Law, which was where she had decided to go to continue her graduate education. She spoke to Chloe at least once a week if not more, but she was the only person from her days at Barden that she regularly kept in touch with. She hadn't said another word to Beca since they saw each other at her graduation and she had no intention to reach out to the younger woman now. She had nothing to say to her anyway as she wasn't sure what there was left to say. She could always inquire about Jesse and how they were doing, but she didn't want to come across as still being unable to let go of the past nor seem as if she were prying for her own personal motives, which would've also been partially correct. Her other reason for asking would only to make sure that Beca was happy or as happy as she could be with remaining in college and leading The Bellas. The a cappella group could always be used as an ice breaker between them if she ever had the strong urge to contact the brunette. Aubrey hoped the female singing group was doing well and that they would claim another victory this year at the ICCA. While she knew she was no longer a member of The Bellas other than in spirit anymore, she couldn't help but still want to go back to Georgia and check up on them all to make sure the now-sophomore wasn't slacking on her duties.

It was strange not having to go to a rehearsal every morning anymore; no more of hearing everyone's voices fill the room, no more listening to the shuffling of feet as everyone did their best to get the steps down correctly, and no more bickering with Beca Mitchell, the young woman who always found something to argue with her on. She couldn't say that she missed the ridiculous feuds they had together, but she did miss seeing the brunette every day although she was certain that there had been many days where Beca wished she would get plowed over by a car or some other disaster would happen to her so that she didn't have to show up. Aubrey had, from time to time, had also had days where she silently pleaded to the world that the smaller Bella wouldn't make it to rehearsals one day so she could have a moment of peace. The blonde still rose at an early hour each day to go through her yoga routine which was followed by a hot shower, but if she didn't have a class soon after, then she'd bury herself amongst her textbooks until then. When she wasn't in class, she was studying and working on assignments, often getting as far ahead in the syllabuses as possible.

As she walked through the door to her apartment one afternoon after her final class for the day had finished, her phone buzzed in her pocket indicating an incoming call.

"Hey Chloe," she smiled, greeting her friend on the other end. Speaking to the redhead was always a highlight of her day and regardless of how short the phone calls were, she always enjoyed each one of them.

"How are you? How's the law treating you?" The younger woman laughed. "I was calling because I was wondering if you wanted to go to watch The Bellas at regionals this year. I thought it might be fun to go back and see how they're doing."

"I'm doing well, thank you. Yale can be stressful, but nothing I can't manage. I hope things are going well for you too." She paused, mulling over the idea of seeing The Bellas. She knew Beca would be there and she wasn't completely sure of whether or not she was up to seeing her again after having already said her goodbyes to the brunette. "Um… As long as I don't have anything to do that night then I don't see why not." A pang of guilt nipped at her as Aubrey hoped to find something to do that same night so she wouldn't have to attend. It wasn't that she didn't want to see the group of women again, but she was still nursing her aching heart and didn't want to be set back at all at the mere sight of Beca. Though this would continue to go unmentioned to her friend, which was yet another thing that Aubrey felt guilty for not telling Chloe, but she wasn't up for answering whatever questions the redhead would surely think up to ask.

"Yeah, things are good here. Med school is hard, but it's okay. And good - make sure to keep that night clear then because I'm counting on going with you." Though Aubrey couldn't physically see her friend, she could hear the smile in her voice and knew she wouldn't be able to get out of going to The Bellas' regionals performance easily.

"Still aiming to be a pediatrician?"

"Yeah, that's the goal anyway," Chloe chuckled.

"You'll get there, I'm sure of it. I have to go though and finish writing this essay, but we'll talk soon."

"Thanks, and sounds good," the redhead chortled as they hung up their phones.

As far as she knew, Chloe didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Tom had been a casual fling the previous year, but ended a few months after classes had begun. Aubrey had considered following the same path of trying out flings, but she feared becoming emotionally attached to the other person while to them the shallow relationship would be nothing more than fun to them. The last thing the blonde wanted was to get hurt again and have to stitch together her broken heart once more. One time had been enough to last a lifetime for her and she was in no rush to have a repeat experience. She still believed she only had herself to blame for having gotten as hurt as she had been when Beca had turned her down multiple times and deemed herself a fool for having chased after the younger woman knowing fully well that the brunette's answer would continue to be a no, yet clung to the feeble sliver of hope that maybe Beca would change her mind and give them a chance.

Fortunately this year, the regionals were scheduled for a Friday which meant she would be able to use the weekend to rest up from her round trip flight to and from Georgia. She had bought her plane ticket at the same time Chloe had to try and arrive at the airport around the same time as one another so they could go together to see The Bellas. Needless to say, Aubrey never found a way to get out of going although she also hadn't put in the biggest effort to do so as she didn't want to give herself another reason to feel guilty about withholding a secret or lying to her friend.

"No luggage?" Chloe's voice interrupted her thoughts as she looked up to see the other woman approaching her with a small suitcase.

"I'm taking a round trip so I wouldn't have to bring any," she explained as she returned the hug the redhead had pulled her into. "I take you're staying overnight though?"

"Yeah, I was going to stay with with a friend's parents out here then leave tomorrow," she motioned for the two of them to head out as she spoke, and hailed for a taxi.

"Friend from med school?" Aubrey smiled as she got into the car.

"Yeah, she's really great," the younger woman beamed. "But don't worry, you'll always be my best friend."

"I wasn't worried about that, but I'm relieved to know so," the blonde clucked although she had fretted about that to herself. She feared Chloe would find someone who could be a better best friend then she ever had been or would be and thus inevitably get replaced in a matter of time. It often was the case that Aubrey was the place holder for others - the good friend they had until they found someone better than her. That also seemed to be the case when it came to relationships as well, her string of nights with Beca being a prime example, where she was there for the other person's pleasure until they tired of her and moved on to someone else. Some people were born to play the supporting roles for others, but never permanently in the foreground on center stage and taking the lead. Aubrey would occasionally find herself contemplating that perhaps she was one of those people; academically gifted and to excel in whatever field she chose, but to eternally be in the background in all other aspects of life.

The crowd was abuzz with speculation as to what kind of a performance The Bellas would make this year. Judging from the anticipated excitement she heard, Aubrey could deduce that Beca had definitely 'remixed this business' as she had once phrased it last year. The sophomore had done something the blonde had never been able to: keep things fresh and thrilling, keep the audience guessing as to what songs they'd sing next, she was able to hold their attention when Aubrey couldn't.

"They'll be great," Chloe reassured her, guessing that was what was on her friend's mind.

"I have no doubt about that. After all, Beca is their leader now," she quirked an eyebrow at the redhead.

"Jealous?"

"No, why would I be?" Aubrey pouted slightly.

"I don't know, you just sounded a little jealous for a second there. You did a really great job leading The Bellas too, you know," her friend promised confidently.

"I think that's debatable, but thank you nonetheless," she rolled her lips into a pressed smile, dropping the volume of her voice as the lights dimmed and first a cappella came out to perform. When The Treble Makers had come out after the first group and took their bows when they'd finished, Aubrey noted to herself that everyone in the audience still found them as entertaining as ever. Based off the way they performed, Jesse appeared to be a competent leader and would continue to be the biggest competition for The Bellas.

She watched carefully as The Bellas sang, taking in each movement they made, hearing their voices to see if they were all on key, checking to see how good they were and if Beca was keeping up with her responsibilities or not. She could almost swear that at some point in the middle of their set, she made eye contact with Beca, but she couldn't be sure about it as she was sitting a few rows back from the front and closer towards the end of the row than the center. It was strange to watch The Bellas instead of being up there on the stage with them and the oddness of the situation to Aubrey made a wave of nostalgia wash over her. Although she didn't miss the arguing with them so much, she did miss being apart of them as The Bellas had been a constant throughout her time at Barden University, but she knew she had left the group in the capable hands of Beca though she may not explicitly admit to it out loud to anyone.

"You all did well," Aubrey complimented the women when they had all exited the auditorium. "Not bad, Mitchell," her smile was laced faintly melancholy.

"I didn't think I'd see you here. Couldn't stay away for long, huh?" The signature smirk that Aubrey had come to know the younger woman for was present on her features as she spoke.

"I didn't think I'd be coming back either, but I guess you're all just too irresistible," she scoffed in turn.

"You were great Beca - all of you did an amazing job!" Chloe grinned ebulliently.

"Why don't we all get dinner together or something?" Jessica suggested, "We can all catch up with each other."

"That sounds like a perfect idea," Cynthia Rose nodded her agreement.

"I won't say no to good food," Amy agreed.

"I would love to, but I can't. I have a flight to catch in an hour," Aubrey gave an apologetic shrug.

"Aw, come on Aubrey, just call the airline and switch your flight for tomorrow!" Chloe urged.

"There's also the matter of I don't have anywhere to stay for the night," she arched an eyebrow at her friend.

"You can stay with me," Beca's offer made Aubrey's attention snap towards the smaller woman. "Aca-scuse me? Won't you be busy with Jesse later?" She pried.

"No, he'll probably be out with the guys so we were going to catch up tomorrow. I have nothing to do between then and now so you're free to stay with me if you want."

"And your roommate?" Aubrey pushed.

"I'm in a single this year," she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh fine, I'll stay," she gave in. The offer seemed suspicious to her, but she could investigate and get to the reasoning behind it later on when they were alone.

"Good, then it's settled!" Chloe clapped her hands together as the group made their way to the nearest place that was still open.


	13. Something to Believe In

"I'm surprised you offered to let me stay with you," Aubrey spoke in a hushed tone as she stepped inside the younger woman's room.

"Why wouldn't I? We're kind of friends, aren't we?" She smiled at the blonde.

"Close enough, I suppose," the former Bella gave a half-smile. "Since when were we that though?"

"Does everything need an exact date and a reason with you?" Beca playfully jabbed at her.

"I like knowing these things, yes, so I can keep it all organized," her brow furrowed.

"In that super organized and compartmentalized head of yours?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. Did you invite me here to make fun of me all night?"

"Loosen up a bit, will you? I'm just kidding. Anyway, if you need any spare clothes, you're free to wear what you want," Beca motioned with her hand towards her drawers. "Unless it's all too alternative for you."

A short laugh escaped from Aubrey's lips, "I doubt they'd look good on me, but thank you for the offer anyway."

"Not like you're trying to impress me though, are you? Okay, okay, I'm sorry I'm done," Beca smirked, raising her hands in surrender.

"If you weren't with Jesse, I'd say you might be attempting to flirt with me, Mitchell." It may not have been the best thing to say, but the sophomore was asking for it with how she was constantly poking fun at her the way she was.

Beca laughed as Aubrey made her claim, "I can't flirt, so even if I wanted to I'd have no idea how."

"Just say what you've already said and that'd probably be good enough, but then again I don't flirt either so I wouldn't know for sure," she mentioned casually. "But anyway, before we get too sidetracked, why did you really offer to let me stay here? And don't tell me it's because we're kind of friends," the former Bella folded her arms against her chest.

"Why, don't believe me when I say we are?" Beca feigned being hurt.

"I never said I don't believe you although last time I mentioned it you told me we weren't even close to being friends at all."

"I don't think I said it exactly like that," the brunette rolled her eyes.

"Maybe not, but it was exactly what you were thinking though you phrased your statement mildly."

Beca crossed her room and took a seat on her bed and rested her elbows on her knees. "Over the summer…" She trailed off, letting the fragment of her sentence hang in the air for some time before continuing as Aubrey waited patiently for her to do so, "I missed you, you know," she sighed.

"You do realize that's an unfair thing of you to say when the reason we didn't speak was because you pushed me away multiple times - you hurt me over and over again, shooting down every attempt I made to reach you, and I'd had enough so I finally pulled away," Aubrey let out a languid sigh as well, taking a seat at the newly elected Bellas leader's desk that was, as expected, covered in by various DJ'ing equipment and her desktop computer and laptop.

"I know, I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't have said it," the brunette gave an awkward laugh.

"But if it makes you feel any better, I missed you too," she conceded.

"I know I've told you this before and I'm sure you're tired of hearing it, but I am really and truly sorry, Aubrey. I never meant to hurt you and getting scared and running away and blindsiding you aren't any excuses to justify how much I hurt you," Beca murmured, hanging her head low.

"It's fine, Beca, it happens. Besides, it taught me that I can't place so much of my happiness on someone else when that person could leave me at any given moment."

From the look on the sophomore's face, Aubrey could tell her statement did hurt the younger woman, but she made no comment on it nor exhibited any signs of using it to instigate an argument with her and instead accepting it as the truth.

"I love you," Beca blurted out, instantly slamming a hand over her mouth just as the words poured out of her, clearly not having meant to proclaim her feelings.

"What?" Aubrey sputtered, just as much in shock as the other woman.

"Sorry, I- I didn't mean to say that, I just… Shit, I'm sorry," Beca fumbled for her words, her face turning a bright red.

"You're with Jesse," the older blonde reminded her, the feeling of irritation whenever the topic of Beca and Jesse being a couple arose returned.

"I pretend everything's okay because I don't know what else to do. I'm not… I'm not happy with him."

She couldn't prevent the wry laugh that escaped her at the sophomore's words as they were the very words that she had been feeling for a while now. "Yeah, well you and me both then. But don't you think you're a little too late? Maybe, oh I don't know, several months too late?" Aubrey didn't mean for her words to come out as sharply as they had, but she wanted the brunette to feel at least a fraction of the pain she had felt when she'd been turned down each time.

"I know that!" she growled, raking both her hands through her hair.

"And what about Jesse? Don't you think it's unfair to string him along this way?"

"Jesus, Aubrey, I already know this!" Beca struggled to keep herself from yelling when they both knew there were students on the other sides of both her walls and so they didn't have complete privacy.

"Then why are you still with him?"

"I don't know," the brunette threw her hands up, obviously agitated. "It was just… I don't know. I knew what to do when I was with him because it was all things that would've been expected of me; hang out with him, let him talk me into watching some movies, go out for lunch after classes or dinner after work, things like that."

"And if we had been together it'd have to have been different? No one's expecting you to do anything you don't want to do. You're a rebel - you do what you want," Aubrey smirked, crossing her legs, one over the other.

"Yeah well… Like I already told you, I got scared so I ran and did what everyone else would've predicted to happen. And I guess no, it wouldn't have to be different had we been together. Although you graduated so it wouldn't have been the same," Beca shrugged.

"It would've been more work had we been together," Aubrey clarified, "And with Jesse it's easy."

The younger woman rolled her eyes as she let out a defeated laugh, "Well you definitely know how to put things bluntly."

"I don't sugarcoat things," the former Bella stated matter-of-factly.

"Clearly."

"Do you regret being with Jesse?"

"I regret… I regret not being able to tell you when I'd had all those chances to tell you that I felt the same way about you. I told you that you needed to be able to admit your feelings first and then I'd talk to you about us and if we could ever be more than friends or whatever we were, but I guess - obviously now too - I was the one that needed to be able to say how I was feeling and not you because you had more than once. As for Jesse, I just feel badly about it all," Beca leaned back against the shelves that were built into her wall, letting her back hit them with a dull thump.

Aubrey could sympathize with Beca but she didn't want to give the woman any false hope that things would be okay when she didn't know for a fact if they would be or not, and she still wanted Beca to come to a solution to her issue on her own. "You'll be seeing him tomorrow. How much longer do you plan to drag this out for?"

"I guess I should break up with him tomorrow when I see him or just call him now so he won't have wasted half his weekend with me," she snorted. "I mean, if you don't mind staying here for a minute while I do that."

Aubrey motioned for her to go ahead as she passed the brunette her phone. "Good luck," she hummed as Beca took the phone from her and walked out into the hallway.

She knew that even if Beca did go through with the break up that didn't by any means ensure that she would end up with the smaller woman, but at least the brunette would have one thing that she dreaded the thought of doing out of the way. Aubrey did take satisfaction in the knowledge that while the sophomore had been dating Jesse, her mind had been focused on someone else - her - and that someone else was wondering if she ever drifted into her thoughts as well. While the selfish half of her was glad to know that at that very second Beca was ending her relationship with Jesse, the other half of her knew it wouldn't be an easy task to accomplish as having your heart broken was always painful and made you feel breathless and not in the good way - more like receiving a hard punch to the stomach and keeling over from having the wind knocked out of you.

When Beca walked back in, she looked forlorn and completely depleted of all her energy. "I did it," she let out a lengthy sigh as she flopped onto her bed. "It's over - I ended things with him."

"I know it must've been difficult, but I'm proud of you for doing it. It'll feel more like a relief or rather you'll at least not feel suffocated or however you felt while you were in the relationship later," Aubrey reassured her as she got to her feet and perched herself on the edge of the sophomore's bed.

"Yeah, I know you're right," the brunette gave her a meek smile. "Thank you, really."

"Of course. It's what friends are for, right?" The older woman returned the feeble smile.

"How do you do it, Aubrey?"

"Do what?" She tilted her head, unsure of what the Bella was getting at.

"You always seem to know what to do all the time. You don't run away from things like I do," Beca's shoulders rose in a sheepish shrug.

"I don't always know and sometimes that scares me because I like always knowing what's going to happen and when so I can be prepared and at least get an idea of what I have to do. What makes you think I don't run away though? I think it's safe to say we're both scared of letting others in because we're afraid of getting hurt. Our fear runs so deeply either because we've been hurt many times before or for whatever other reason that we shut others out and keep them at arm's length, but we go about it in different ways. You try to push people away with your sarcasm and run away from your fears until you're cornered into facing them while I use my cold demeanour and throw myself into my work to keep others out. People don't like me because I'm controlling - because I'm afraid of letting go and something going wrong and the blame being placed on me or I otherwise somehow get hurt - and a perfectionist to the point where I always feel the need to do everything myself because I'm afraid of failure so I have a need to be perfect," Aubrey gave a small shrug.

"No one's perfect," Beca pointed out, sitting up and rested her weight on her hands that were outstretched behind her.

"I know and yet I strive for it anyway," she pursed her lips and looked away then down at her lap where she held onto the hem of her shirt between her thumbs and index fingers.

"Is it because of your father?" The sophomore asked tentatively as everyone figured it was a sensitive subject from the quotes of his that Aubrey would sometimes repeat.

"Yes," she answered tersely, offering up no other details.

"I hate to break it to you, but you'll never be perfect. And before you bite my head off for saying that, it's okay not to be perfect. As I just said no one is, but I think that's a good thing. Perfection is subjective anyway and it's boring. You have a lot of strong qualities about you, Aubrey, just as you have a lot of flaws, but all those imperfections added with all your strengths are what make you perfect. Well, perfect to me anyway as lame as that sounds," Beca smirked.

The words that came from the other woman's mouth warmed Aubrey which she mentally chide herself for feeling like a high schooler with a crush over some sweetly pretty sounding words. "Who knew Beca Mitchell had a soft side to her?" She laughed gently.

"If you tell anyone about it I'll deny it and say you're lying," the brunette eyed her before her facial expression dissolved into a grin.

"I think people will be able to imagine it and then you'll never hear the end of it either," she laughed more openly. "But thank you, honestly, that was sweet of you to say." Aubrey turned her head when she felt the other woman's hand come to rest on the side of her face, her eyes widening as she felt Beca's lips press against her own. She turned the rest of her body so that she was facing Beca, placing one hand on either side of the brunette's legs as she leaned in, deepening the kiss. Soon one kiss turned into another as the older blonde straddled Beca's lap, lips parting as tongues met each other midway and their actions speaking the feelings they couldn't fathom into words and they stayed that way until they were forced to break apart for air.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you I love you," Beca whispered when they'd finally pulled away, their foreheads resting against the other's, the smaller woman's arms wrapped loosely around Aubrey's neck, and Aubrey's hands resting on Beca's waist.

"You can stop apologizing, you know," she chuckled, "I already forgive you."

Before she had time to react, Beca rolled them over so that she was lying on her back with the brunette's hands and knees on either side of her. "I love you, Aubrey," she murmured, leaning down to kiss the other woman again.

"I love you too," Aubrey mumbled just as their lips met again.

She reached up pushed the flannel plaid shirt off the younger woman's shoulders and peeled it away from her arms, dropping it off the side of the bed. She slipped her hands beneath the shirt Beca had worn under it, and slid her hands up Beca's sides until the sophomore sat up, breaking their chain of kisses, to yank her shirt off the rest of the way and discarded it to where her other shirt lay in a heap. The brunette mirrored Aubrey's previous movements of gliding her hands up her sides as she leaned down to plant tender kisses on the blonde's lips, trailing them along her jawline and down her neck where she nipped lightly at the skin, eliciting a low moan from the other woman. Aubrey was pulled up by the younger brunette as she raised her arms to let Beca pull off her shirt and heard the muffled sound of it landing on top of the growing pile of clothes. Next were Aubrey's pants as the smaller woman above her slid her hands down the smooth plane of Aubrey's taut stomach and brushed her fingers lightly over her abdomen until she reached the button of her jeans, making quick work of it and the zipper with deft hands and tugged them down the blonde's legs and added it to the rest of the clothes. She got up long enough to remove her own pants before retaking her previous position of having one knee on either side of Aubrey's waist as she smirked at the woman beneath her.

Beca carried on from where she had left off, kissing the base of the other woman's neck and left a set of vibrant red teeth marks on her collarbones to which Aubrey gave an audible moan in response, her hands tangling into the brunette tresses of hair, pulling at it gently as the sophomore continued to kiss down her body and the rise of each breast. A sharp gasp passed from between gritted teeth as Aubrey felt the younger Bella's hands knead her breasts before sliding one down the remaining length of her body and lingered on her abdominal area before pushing it between her underwear and her flesh as the other gripped her shoulder. She let out a slow hiss when Beca's fingers teased her entrance, running down her already slick folds and pressing them against her, but not entering just yet.

"God, Beca, you're such a tease," she let out breathily.

The corner of Beca's lips curled up into a wolfish smirk in response as she continued to stroke the blonde's entrance a few more times. Aubrey cried out in ecstasy as a pleasurable pain spiked when Beca thrust two of her fingers inside of her without warning, and rubbled slow circles on her clit with her thumb. The former Bella could feel her breathing become shallow and spasmodic while Beca retracted her fingers nearly all the way then plunged them back inside, repeating this motion for a few more seconds until she chose a quick, steady rhythm to work at. Aubrey had missed this - being intimate with Beca - although it had been different then as there hadn't been any emotional attachment, or rather for Aubrey at least, she made sure to be careful not to let on that she was developing any towards the other woman. This time it felt more fulfilling as they were both aware of their feelings for the other and had finally been able to tell each other of them too.

Within several minutes, Aubrey could feel herself teetering on the brink of her climax, her back arching causing their bodies to press together more, and the warmth of Beca's equally sporadic breathing against her neck between kisses only pushed her faster to her orgasm faster. She no longer cared about who could hear them as she was too wrapped up in the euphoria of the moment, her hands moving from tugging at Beca's hair to her nails dragging down the younger woman's back. Her action caused Beca to let out a groan as she bit down on the ridge of Aubrey's collarbone, surely leaving what would soon be a lasting bruise there that she'd figure out how to keep concealed later. Her walls tightened around the sophomore's fingers just as she was about to orgasm, but at that same exact moment, Beca pulled out her fingers, sitting up to lick them clean, her eyes dark and glazed with desire.

"What the hell, Beca?" She growled.

The brunette offered no response and only continued to smile slyly at her as she moved herself further down Aubrey's body and licked her lips as she lay down on the bed, her head positioned between the other woman's thighs. Aubrey threw back her head, doing everything she could to hold back from screaming out Beca's name as the younger brunette's tongue ran down the length of her folds followed by pushing her tongue inside of her, curling it against her walls while she resumed messaged circles on her clit with her fingers. It didn't take much longer before Aubrey let out a loud moan with Beca's name as her orgasm ripped through her body, flooding her entire body with exhilaration. When she finally came down from her climax and collapsed against the bed, Beca pulled out of her swallowed before leaning down to kiss Aubrey, letting her taste herself on the brunette's lips.

"I love you, Aubrey," she mumbled, burying her face in the crook of the older woman's neck.

"I love you too, Beca," Aubrey smiled warmly and wrapped her arms around the smaller sophomore.

"What are we now?" The Bella propped herself up on her elbows that rested on each side of the blonde's head.

"What do you want us to be?" She countered with a question of her own.

"Dating," Beca grinned bashfully.

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend? And I take it this means no more running away?" Aubrey smirked at her, wanting to hear it first from the younger brunette as Beca had made her make the first move several times before and just to give her a hard time all out of good fun.

"No more running, I promise. Will you be my girlfriend, Aubrey?" Beca fought the urge to roll her eyes jokingly and instead continued to smile coyly down at the other woman.

"Maybe you should kiss me and find out," she winked.

Beca did just that as Aubrey returned the kiss with equal passion.

They both knew a long distance relationship wouldn't be easy, but at that moment they didn't worry themselves with the details and instead enjoyed the moment they had together right then and there and both women were confident they'd make the relationship work despite the distance. It had been a long struggle to get to where they were now, but in the end Aubrey had found it worth every tear, every angry word she'd exchanged with Beca, and worth all the pain. They each had things they would've done different had they been able to go back in time and change them, but there was no editing the past and so Aubrey focused on the future and hoped that her new relationship with Beca would last. As for Chloe, Aubrey made a mental promise to herself to finally fill her friend in on everything.

"Girlfriends," Beca mumbled, smiling demurely.

"Finally," Aubrey laughed softly, giving her girlfriend a kiss.


End file.
